New Vlog-Dating & Weight Loss

Well hello there...if anyone is out there still. While I hate the idea of following the masses to start the new year with the resolution to get healthy, this is a part of my life which has not gotten much attention for the past few months. October was the last time I posted anything and that's about the time the current version of my life came into play. New show, new job, new relationship...new chaos...all added up to ignoring any sort of effort to keep on track with food and exercise. So.........8+ lbs later and I am back to square one. But we'll get to that later, in the meantime there are more pressing issues.

While I haven't had much time to write lately, I somehow found the time to make a video post about a topic I've been struggling with for the past couple of weeks...dating and weight loss. And I noticed that my last blog (two years ago...) was also about dating & weight loss with my previous live-in boyfriend, but this is from a different perspective.

Aside from all the regular dilemmas, I'm in a fairly unique situation where my boyfriend likes my chunkiness. Like...REALLY likes. And while I've never felt sexier, I want to still lose the weight that I've put back on and get back down towards my goal weight.

Julia's VLog-Dating & Weight Loss

My question to those of you out there-how do you handle keeping on track while you are dating someone? All the going out and eating out can get in the way of keeping to a food and exercise routine.

Any suggestions for my particular dilemma of changing in the opposite direction? 

You're so vain...

Alright--confession time again.


You probably think this song is about you
Friend's wedding Aug 22

I love how I look. I love seeing photos of me looking all small & fabulous. I have a hard time walking past a reflection (mirror, window, car hubcap) without checking me out. I love hearing compliments from people who haven't seen me in a while telling me how great I look, asking me what I did to lose the weight. Even more fun are the compliments from the people who don't have the guts to say that's why I look so great.


My 11 year HS Reunion from this weekend...
Two of those people did not go to HS with us.

Vanity.


All I think when I see this is...SKINNY!

I guess it's a sort of a fascination of seeing this new version of me. The version that I haven't really ever seen of me because even though I weighed less back in Jr. High, it was still a different version of me. This is the version who can rock the miniskirts and skinny jeans. This version wears makeup and heels. This version turns heads as she walks (even if it's only my own head I'm turning). And all this has perhaps raised the vanity level a wee bit.


Renaissance Faire last year (Robin Hood) and this year (...Link).

However this also influences how I look at older photos of myself. Cringing at the roundness of my face. Taking those photos out of the HS Reunion memory board which weren't flattering. Blanching at the thought that I actually went out looking like that. And almost feeling ashamed of being associated with that girl with the great personality who had a weight problem.


Yikes

Is this shallow? For someone who considers herself all accepting with no prejudices, I'm seeing in myself an awful lot of the shallow behavior I'd disassociated myself from for so long--even if the behavior is only towards my former rounder self.

I know it's all a part of the process, but I wonder how this will affect future Julia. I certainly don't want this to be a case of letting success get to my head--and I don't think I am or will be, but how should I be treating the relationship with my former and current self?

For those of you who have lost--what is it like seeing old photos? Do you find yourself feeling accomplished or feeling sorry for yourself? What about how you view your current self?

In the meantime I'll try working on reeling in my Over inflated Ego ;)

Until next time

No more beached whale

Yesterday's scorching 90 degree weather prompted a spontaneous trip to the beach with my friend. this was only the 2nd time I've been to the beach this summer (I was in a bathing suit a couple of times, but mostly covered up my bottom half).

But I had my adorable retro looking red polka dot that kind of looks like this*:

*But waaaaaaaaaay cuter.

So with retro sunglasses, I rocked that bathing suit. Even with thighs jiggling, I felt sexier and more comfortable in that bathing suit than I sometimes do in full clothing.

No longer do I have that feeling of being the beached whale, the chunky girl who hides behind the towel or the cover-up shorts. I had no problem running to the snack stand in just the suit. Running over the hot sand wasn't to get into the water as fast as I could to cover my bigger bottom half, it was literally just to run so not to scorch my feet. And coming out of the water I felt more like a Bronzed Water Goddess emerging from the Mediterranean in a Fellini film rather than a dripping blubbery orca worried about the sand and saltwater chafing my skin.

So it was a lovely afternoon and I got some (completely uneven but much needed) color. And I hope we have more beach-worthy weekends before the summer is over so I can rock it again. I decided against wearing my bikini because I'm still not quite there yet, and with my lack of exercise and recent gains I wasn't really feeling up to it. Though I did feel sort of encouraged by my friend who doesn't have that perfect bikini body but still rocked it. Who knows, maybe next time.

I'll update you on my goals from last week tomorrow when I report my weigh in. For better or for worse.

Until next time