Alright--confession time
again.
You probably think this song is about you
Friend's wedding Aug 22I love how I look. I love seeing photos of me looking all small & fabulous. I have a hard time walking past a reflection (mirror, window, car hubcap) without checking me out. I love hearing compliments from people who haven't seen me in a while telling me how great I look, asking me what I did to lose the weight. Even more fun are the compliments from the people who don't have the guts to say that's why I look so great.
My 11 year HS Reunion from this weekend...
Two of those people did not go to HS with us.Vanity.
All I think when I see this is...SKINNY!I guess it's a sort of a fascination of seeing this new version of me. The version that I haven't really ever seen of me because even though I weighed less back in Jr. High, it was still a different version of me. This is the version who can rock the miniskirts and skinny jeans. This version wears makeup and heels. This version turns heads as she walks (even if it's only my own head I'm turning). And all this has perhaps raised the vanity level a wee bit.

Renaissance Faire last year (Robin Hood) and this year (...Link). However this also influences how I look at older photos of myself. Cringing at the roundness of my face. Taking those photos out of the HS Reunion memory board which weren't flattering. Blanching at the thought that I actually went out looking like that. And almost feeling ashamed of being associated with that girl with the great personality who had a weight problem.


YikesIs this shallow? For someone who considers herself all accepting with no prejudices, I'm seeing in myself an awful lot of the shallow behavior I'd disassociated myself from for so long--even if the behavior is only towards my former rounder self.
I know it's all a part of the process, but I wonder how this will affect future Julia. I certainly don't want this to be a case of letting success get to my head--and I don't think I am or will be, but how
should I be treating the relationship with my former and current self?
For those of you who have lost--what is it like seeing old photos? Do you find yourself feeling accomplished or feeling sorry for yourself? What about how you view your current self?
In the meantime I'll try working on reeling in my Over inflated Ego ;)
Until next time