The damage

Weighed in last night. I specifically went to a meeting a little further than me so I could have my regular leader. I needed her support. Even though having someone new every once in a while provides a fresh outlook, but I needed my leader to be able to sit through this meeting, accept my fate on the scale and move on.

It was a good meeting, but I didn't get to really talk to her afterward like I wanted to because others went up to her first and there was a big crowd and I didn't feel like waiting. I figure I can talk to her on Monday when I am at my regular meeting. I was unexpectedly a little upset though as I left because I felt like I needed her to encourage me and help me figure out why I've been putting up these obstacles and roadblocks for myself. I mean, I guess I know all of this already, but I needed to hear it from her.

Anyway--the damage: 4.6 lbs. That brings me back up to 190.4

Ugh. I didn't think I'd ever have to see that number again. But I'm glad I did because it was the final alarm of my wake up call that I've been hitting snooze on for a while.

I did this. But I can do something about it. I choose to change.

I started by hitting up the grocery store right after the meeting and stocked up on the good stuff--fruits & veggies, yogurt, hummus & pretzels--all my favorite fresh foods. My feel good foods.

And when I got home, I was super hungry. I could have gone to the freezer for those Holey Donuts that had arrived the day before and that I had binged on for no good reason. Only 4pts apiece but BOY do they add up. Instead I opted for health.

Actually I ate quite a bit--but I didn't even use all my points! Pretzels & Hummus (portioned out instead of right out of the container), turkey wrap w/FF cheese & cucumbers, greek yogurt w/high fiber cereal, and an apple. All of that was 12.5 points. I had a relatively low point lunch (and no breakfast), so I had quite a bit of points left for the day. But it was satisfying both in hunger and knowing that I made great choices.

Tonight I probably won't get to eat dinner because I am going straight from work to an event to rehearsal, but I have a hearty lunch planned, and snacks for later to keep me from getting too hungry and then binging later.

I feel refreshed from all this. I am still disappointed for letting myself get this far off track, but I am moving forward and am ready for the change.

My horoscope even tells me so:

Sharper than ever, your vision will be able to show you what changes you must make.

The stars always tell it like it is :)

Until next time