New month, new post, new start...

It's November. One of my least favorite months...those late fall days when the colors fade as the leaves fall, when it gets dark earlier each day, any time it rains the cold & damp soak through to your bones...

In other words, it's depressing.

So I guess it's a bit contradictory that I'm choosing this time of year for a starting point for getting back on the weight-loss wagon.

So why am I doing it?
1. I can't fit in my clothes comfortably anymore...and not in the good way. (I've had to dig into the "fat" clothes box)
2. After accomplishing 2 half marathons this spring, I could barely finish a 5k last week
3. Rolls, handles and tires should be on a car (shh) ...not on me.
4. I. Feel. Like. Crap.
5. I'm paying $40 a month on Weight Watchers and $30 on a gym...and I'm broke. You do the math.

Tonight I went to Weight Watchers for the first time since July. In four months I gained almost 14 lbs. WHATTHEFLOCK?

I knew it was bad, but the number was shocking. All in all, I've gained close to 30 lbs...IN THE PAST YEAR. Again...WHATTHEFLOCK?? Every time I tried to restart my engines, my head, laziness, potato chips something gets in my way. And it's just gotten me further and further from my goal. But it's got to change. For my health, my sanity, and my overall well being.

I won't go into any more sob stories, but I am setting up the following goals:

• To blog weekly. My schedule probably won't allow daily posts, but I can certainly aim for 3x a week. When I first started at WW, this blog really helped to keep me motivated and to hold myself accountable. Since I'm starting from scratch, I am committing to blogging again. And speaking of starting from scratch...goal #2
  
• Go back to basics. Re-read the Weight Watchers materials, follow the weekly plans, and take it step by step. Set goals and reach them, and evaluate progress both good & bad.
• Put myself first. My health needs to be a priority. My daily choices need to reflect that, and I am in control of those choices. Figure out what I need to do to be successful (like planning ahead, scheduling exercise...) and then do them.
  
• Persistence, not perfection. This is something which came out of my meeting tonight. It struck a chord with me. Despite all my missteps along the way...I haven't completely given up. I am still trying. Which means that this persistence will pay off.

Hope there are still some of you out there...I could use your support more than ever!

Until next time

The long and winding road

Well I can't deny that this year has been a rough year. I know... it's June, it's not technically the end of the year. But I do feel like the summertime is a roundabout rebirth of my efforts to weight loss and exercise.

I've come a long way (the wrong way?) from where I was at this time two years ago when I was down nearly 50 lbs from my start weight. I certainly feel like this journey is taking forever and that I have lost my way. But on the other hand, a lot has happened too.

This spring I completed two half marathons...running! My first in Pittsburgh I completed in 3:08 which was slower than my normal pace, and 40 minutes less than my previous Pittsburgh Half last May. Then in June, I ran the San Diego Rock & Roll Half marathon, and despite what the actual time said, I finished in 2:50 which trumped Pittsburgh! The official time was over 15 minutes longer because of a ridiculously long line at a port-a-potty during the race, but I really had no choice. I feel like I still have a lot of work to run a "good" half marathon, but I am happy with my progress, considering where I started from! Not to mention I successfully raised over $2,900 for Team in Training!

The problem however, lies in my overall motivation and lack of focus. My weight loss is not the only thing I have let slide--other parts of my life feel like I've lost control.

So I am giving myself 90 days to get back on track...in several different areas, but one of the front-runners is definitely weight loss & health. There are changes going on in my life, and I am trying to embrace the change & adapt for the better.

This isn't meant to be a sob story, more of a declaration of good things to come.

Until next time

One small step or one GIANT LEAP?

Pardon the title...it's a full moon out & I liked the analogy. :)

And I've been feeling quite ambitious lately.

As I've mentioned, I am training for the Pittsburgh Half Marathon in May with Team in Training. It's going splendidly (is that a word)--my team is great, I've been consistently going to the weekend meets and I am officially running 8 miles now :) I'm still bad with fitting in weekday runs but I'm averaging 1-2 per week so its better than nothing.

On the flip side, I've been fundraising for the team (see TNT side bar) and it's been going incredibly well. In just one month, I've raised $1,000. My goal for the Pittsburgh Marathon is $1,500, and I have some money coming in from a group fundraiser we did last weekend, so I should be pretty close to my goal with that. And I have three months to go.

So yesterday I had this idea...I'm not sure if it's crazy or not, but I figured I'd want to raise as much money as possible for this cause and bump up my fundraising goal.

And if I bump it up, I might as well go for a different event to get the full TNT experience out of it...and a vacation. Coincidentally, TNT just started their kickoff for the summer season and included in that is...the San Diego Rock & Roll marathon.

It's three weeks after my Pittsburgh Half...and $1,400 extra to fundraise. My friend Megan who is doing the Pittsburgh half is also signed up for the San Diego full marathon. I would rather do the half, but I think it would be an exciting opportunity and most importantly...I NEED A VACATION!!!

I'm still up in the air because even though I got this far with fundraising, another $1,400 is a lot to think about. If I switch over, the 67% I have now will drop back down to 34%...it's all a state of mind of course, but the thought of it still overwhelms me. But on the other hand I'm stoked to visit San Diego--and to participate with some of my running teammates. Personally I want to hit up the zoo wearing short shorts a la Three's Company (flamingo leg!) and of course the Pacific Ocean. I haven't been to California in ages & I want to take advantage of the sunny West Coast.

Anyway-those are my plans. I think I've basically made up my mind since I started this post. heheheh-the wheels are turning and I see sunshine in my future.

Until next time!

Running in circles

Maybe not exactly what I mean, but certainly how I feel sometimes!

Well as I mentioned I am officially in training for the half marathon in May. With my Team in Training group, we've been meeting on Saturdays for our group training run--coaches, mentors and teammates alike--we're running on those cold winter mornings where most others are cozying up in bed glad they dont' have to be anywhere.

Remember that 6 miles? I did it! I did it the first time, and I did it again last week. The first one was a bit of a laborious trip, but I completed it...hill and all. Last week a small group of decided to run/walk the 6 miles and it was definitely better. My Nike+ is telling me I'm running 11 minute miles which is way off (I'm averaging between 13 & 14)

The biggest problem is fitting in training runs during the week. I'm averaging about 1 other run per week which is NOT good because as we start increasing our distance, I'm going to need to keep building strength, endurance and speed...

Between not getting up on time in the mornings and a busy evening schedule...and sheer unwillingness to go out in single digit degree weather at night...I'm falling behind on the weekday runs. Even trips to the gym would seem like a good replacement, but I haven't done that either.

I also haven't been to Weight Watchers in a couple weeks...I've been avoiding the scale. And I'm definitely noticing a difference in how I feel--even with the running. I'm trying to keep my motivation going with weight loss, but I just keep falling behind on that too.

The title of this post really hits home because I really do feel like I'm running in circles. I'm trying, but not whole-heartedly, and I just feel like I'm getting nowhere fast. But I know I'm on the right track, I just have to keep my goals in mind and make those small changes to get to the big picture.

Anyway--I'm pumped because I found a new DVD which I ordered called Booty Barre. (Note...Booty Barre and Booty Bar are two completely different types of DVDs). This fitness DVD by Tracy Mallett is a ballet inspired lower body toning workout with pilates, yoga, cardio all wrapped up into one. I'm excited about it because a) my lower half is my problem area and ballet is a perfect toning workout to target those spots, b) it looks like it's an apartment friendly workout so my downstairs neighbor won't have a fit and c) I can wear a tutu. Okay--I probably won't, but just knowing that I can is motivation to do the workout.

I also ordered a stretching DVD by Karen Voight called "Pure and Simple Stretch" to help improve my flexibility and to help keep my muscles and joints in good condition after my runs.

I am not familiar with either of the instructors, but the clips and reviews looked promising for both, and I'm hoping will supplement my running so that way my body will become stronger and more toned.

Share your thoughts...
Has anyone tried these DVDs or anything by these instructors?
How do you keep your mojo going when it starts to falter or get out of a cycle of on-again, off-again motivation?

Until next time

Come together right now...

This week's ever changing motivation is brought to you by: my (ridiculously amazing) relationship.

Ah, motivation.

It comes in all sorts of forms, from the "I've had enough of not fitting comfortably in a theater seat" type of motivation to the "Oh, Zumba...that looks like fun--I can do that..."

It's how we stick with things that we want to accomplish that matter.

My boyfriend read my post from a couple of weeks ago regarding the Chinese food incident. (I LOVE YOU!)

I guess reading what I was feeling struck a chord with him and he decided both for his health and my goals to make a plan for himself to rid his body of the bad foods & start from scratch with healthy foods and exercise. In addition to him losing weight with this process, he'll be supporting me in my efforts.

This not only made me happy for him and his health, but it encouraged me to put my best foot forward and keep on pushing towards my goals.

Two weeks ago I had my amazing plan. And I stuck to it--for the most part. I had to rearrange some workouts, but I stuck to meals pretty well. There were a few poor food decisions on my part, and a minor emotional break down on that Sunday when I didn't complete my workout schedule as I'd planned, but overall it was fine. But then I gained 2.4 lbs. Almost entirely because of Aunt Flo (also cause of the breakdown) so I should not have been discouraged, but the following week I did a complete 180 and had a workout-free eating fest on Monday followed by several days of poor food choices. Hence the not blogging for a week.

On Saturday my friend and motivator Fit Chick Megan came to town for the day and we went out together to work out. We did about 3 miles of jogging/walking together and it felt great to get back into the game. While she went off to camp for a week where she efficiently mapped out a jogging course and plans to strength train (using kids for dumbbells), I used that as motivation to get back into my planning game.

So all these elements have come together this week to motivate me to get on track and stay on track. With the boyfriend and I working together to plan healthy meals and strengthen ourselves together and Megan around to keep motivating each other to push ourselves to Fitness, I have a feeling this is going to be a good week.

Share with us! Who or what pushes you to keep going? How do you collaborate to keep going?

Until next time

Some realizations

So in the last couple of weeks or so, I've been trying to organize my life. Both professional and personal. I've always been a proponent of getting organized, but rarely have I been able to stay organized for long. Whether keeping a scheduled routine, keeping up with goals, or something as simple as keeping my clothes organized, I've always managed to start falling behind.

I guess as a part of now living with someone, I've had to reorganize my life & schedule once again, but this time I'm accountable to someone else. And lately I've been trying to use that to my advantage.

Last week I had a fantastic week of working out and a ridiculously horrible week of eating. I did manage to lose 1.4 lbs through it all, but I knew there is still plenty of work to be done.

With some inspiration from a fellow Fit Chick Megan, I worked out a schedule for my meals and my workouts, and I did it with my boyfriend and both of our calendars out. We knew which days we were having dinner out, we figured out what we could cook and then what I could take for lunch the next day--whether leftover or a simple lunch. We scheduled in my workouts. He even promised to come to the gym with me two mornings this week. So far we didn't make yesterday, but there's still tomorrow. Hey--this plan isn't completely fool proof...

I feel so much more in control of my life this week and it also makes me happy to have his support through the process. I felt it especially important to ask for his help because we're in this together and I knew it would be that much harder to make these changes & schedule if I didn't put it out there for him to know.

Realizing there are certain things that I can do to excel this process and WRITING THEM DOWN is important. Things such as keeping my activity level high and avoiding fried foods of any kind (I foolishly thought I had that under control...) Next week I think I'm going to start tracking my water intake too.

The other important realization I've been having over the past month is that I don't have a specific motivation anymore. And my motivation, I mean Why is this worth it to me? What is going to keep me going and remind me what I'm doing it for when I'm standing at the supermarket with a bag of chips in my basket or reaching for the 2nd helping of mac & cheese, or stealing french fries off my boyfriend's plate...why am I doing this? Why am I going through this weight loss journey? Is it to look better in skinny jeans? For my health? To reach fitness goals? To set an example for my future kids? I think it's a combination of all of those as well as to prove to myself that I CAN do it once and for all.

So this week, in addition to sticking to my schedule I laid out (which for the most part I have...) I want to put in writing WHAT DO I WANT out of this weight loss journey. What do I want to accomplish other than a number or a size? And then I want to keep some sort of reminder of that goal when I'm struggling or feeling down.

Share with us! What realizations have you had on your weight loss or fitness journey?

Until next time

You are my sunshine!

You make me happy when skies are grey!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's for all you guys, my fellow bloggers, supporters & friends who literally helped me out this morning.

Because of you I went to the gym. Literally.

I woke up early again, planning on going, but could not get myself to get up. Even getting up to go to the bathroom wasn't enough to motivate me to keep going, get dressed, etc.

It wasn't until I checked my emails through my phone (in bed with eyes half closed), and saw the comments on my blog yesterday motivating me to keep going with the morning workouts. They made me smile, and it was 100% because of those comments that I got myself out of bed and got to the gym.

So thank you.

Until next time

Breakfast but no bed

Morning workouts are AWESOME!

But hell, will I ever be able to do it on a regular basis?

This morning I dragged myself out of bed at 6am for my trainer appointment at the gym. (Alright, 6:20. Snooze button). I'd gotten to sleep after 11:30 so I was still pretty grouchy when I got there--it was just about light out and COLD.

I had scheduled a group training session which is available to gym members for free. Up to four people. I thought there was someone else signed up, but apparently I was the only one, so I got my own time with Jeremy, the adorably buff trainer. We sat and talked about my goals (weight loss, toning lower body, training for 5K), and then he prescribed me a workout plan for my 3x/week I promised I would go (realistically doable--in addition to swing class & I could always add on extra gym time). Rotating through different body parts each day on the weight machines and then 20 minutes of cardio (bike, treadmill or elliptical), upping the amount of weight when it gets easy, he said to do this for about two weeks and then come back to him to update the routine. Hell, that seems like nothing.

All are 3 sets of 15 at various weights.
Day 1: Chest press, triceps press, abs-crunch machine, abs-leg crunches.
Day 2: Back-row machine, biceps curl, abs (same as day 1)
Day 3: Leg press, Inner thigh adductor, Outer thigh abductor, shoulder press, abs (same as day 1)

The routine does seem a bit generic, and really doesn't focus all that much on the lower body, other than abs, all that much, but I do need to work my whole body anyway. Also I'm not a huge fan of weight machines, but unless I'm going into the larger weights, that's what they have for strength training. He also mentioned that when I do cardio, to keep the workout time the same, and increase the intensity over time. Today I did elliptical (which I haven't done in ages) rather than the treadmill because my knees felt a little stiff and I figured the elliptical would be a lower impact. Plus I figured I could change it up now & again.

So I did today's workout which took me about 40 minutes if that. I felt so great afterwards!! I know it's like facing Armageddon to actually get out of bed in the morning, but the rewards are so worth it!! I had so much energy which I STILL have at 3:30 in the afternoon! The gym also apparently offers free breakfast (coffee & bagels) on Tuesday mornings. I grabbed a cup of coffee on my way out and went home to get ready for work.

Then at home I was über productive - breakfast, put away some clothes, checked & wrote out some emails, logged my activity & food for the latter part of yesterday & today...even took my measurements & a photo for comparison's sake! By the time I showered and dressed and got to work (all at my normal time), I felt like I'd had a full day already.

And I've been productive at work too--particularly at multitasking. I just feel so much more awake than normal. I think I really do need to do this more often.

I am going to try to go tomorrow morning as well, since I'm going out tomorrow night, but at the very least, I'd like to make it a regular Tuesday morning thing to get to the gym--even if my only motivation is free coffee.

Oh, and as for my weigh in--I lost almost all of what I had gained over the holidays--3.8 lbs. I'm obviously very happy about that, but I'll celebrate when I start consistently losing again. No more yo-yoing.

Here's to another great week!!

Until next time

Oh the weather outside is...

I have a love-hate relationship with winter.

This time of year it's kind of inspiring--the first snowfalls of the season, the excitement of the upcoming holidays, the warm & cozy sweaters...(notice I'm omitting the foods...)

Of course it also puts a damper on exercise (and motivation in general). Whether outside or inside, there is no bone in my body that craves exercise in cold weather--my bones are craving couch time and comfort foods.

However, when I do get my butt in gear, I find exercise in the winter can be invigorating. As long as it's not cold & rainy anyway. Then I am dragged outside kicking and screaming.

There are fun outdoor sports like ice skating & skiing that I like to partake in, and I plan to at some point this season, but I'm not used to really pushing my workouts outdoors.

Last night I went jogging. It wasn't ridiculously cold--probably in the 40s. High 30s maybe? And I layered up & was perfectly comfortable. But it was hard. My body felt every cold step, my knees were aching, my ankles felt pressure, and there were a few times where I thought I might pass out from how my lungs were dealing with the cold. Even though my body was technically warm, it was still fighting against the cold and struggling to adjust.

I'm glad I went and I did feel good once I finished. I could see myself doing this every once in a while on a sunny winter morning or relatively mild evening, but I'm wondering if there should be some extra steps I should be taking to prepare myself for the winter outdoor exercise. I know most days I won't be pushing myself to brave the bitter cold, but I want to take advantage of the natural gym as much as I can.

How do you guys handle outdoor exercise in the winter?

Tonight is dropping into the 20s. It will be an indoor fitness night :)

Until next time

Swinging into December!

Okay so last night's weigh in was another disappointment, but I have no one to blame but myself. I gained another 0.6 lbs. Expected, but still not a good feeling as it was the 3rd week in a row that I gained. But--it's a new week and a new month, and I'm already making strides to change that.

My bad mood didn't last long because I went to Swing Dancing immediately afterward and you really can't be in a bad mood while swing dancing. Then I went home & made a decent dinner & despite going over by 3 pts, I felt energized. I sat & crocheted while watching TV and wasn't tempted to binge, though I did have some baked tostitos and salsa (only 2pts).

Plan for week:
Food goals: Stay within daily points as much as possible. Eat from home as much whenever possible. Get in 8 Healthy Guidelines as much as possible (especially liquids!!). Track 5 out of 7 days.
Challenges: Wednesday night out--will need to grab food
Thursday pizza @ work event
Saturday night-post concert food & drinks
Being at home Tuesday night/Friday night/Sunday evening
Exercise goals: 14 APs (avg 2pts/30 min moderate activity per day). 6 days Cardio, 2 days strength.
Challenges: Should have time for at least 30 min all days. Thursday will be a challenge because of a work event, but I still want to try to fit in at least 20 min walk or 10 min stairs late afternoon. Saturday I have a bunch of stuff going on, but will fit in a long run/walk & some strength training. Sunday will be a rest day, but if the weather is reasonably nice, I want to get outside for something. Other days--no excuses.

I kicked off the week of activity with swing dancing last night (2pts), a walk/run this morning (2pts), a Biggest Loser workout (3pts), and a lunchtime walk (1pt)...8 APs already? And it's only Tuesday?? But I'm energized and I'm keeping this up as long as possible.

Until Next Time

At least it's a new week

I did not invest in myself this holiday weekend.

If I were a stockbroker or financial planner, I'd be fired. Or in jail...

Thanksgiving Day was fine, but due to a pre- and post- Thanksgiving disappointment, my weekend didn't turn out quite as I had planned.

I really had no plans for post-Thanksgiving, and that was my first mistake. Having things not work out for me and letting it get to me was my second mistake. One lazy day--fine. Three ridiculously lethargic days...dumb. And I'm totally feeling the effects of crappy food and inactivity today. Oh boy am I feeling it.

At least it's a new week. And holy guacamole as of tomorrow a new month! The last month of 2009! And I'm not letting it go by the wayside.

Last year I did a few things in December.
December was Strut your Stuff month: An excuse to celebrate fabulous you. A way of helping bring out the confidence by strutting proudly, even if it's just for show at first.
I also spent a lot of time looking back: In my first year of weight loss, I took a lot of pictures. I wanted to see my shape changing and I really did. Man--do I look different--especially with the new hair.
Apparently I was also in the midst of my various exercise DVD reviews from my local library. (I ended up buying Dancing with the Stars and Biggest Loser Workout)

Most importantly though, I made myself a calendar for December; setting a goal, planning out all the holidays, parties, get-togethers, and other high-risk and splurge-worthy events. Figuring that you'll want to save your extra points for those days, you work around them to plan out your week. Which days you'll stay strictly to your daily points, which days you'll bump up your exercise, etc. It allowed me to plan out meals, and fitness. And I know I didn't exactly stick to it, but it did help as a visual and a planning tool-especially when it was right in front of me on my wall near my desk. And I didn't lose the 3-4 lbs as I had planned...but I was lower at the end of the month than when I had started, so you can't beat that.

So that's what I'm planning again for this December. On a weekly basis anyway since my plans come last minute usually. I'm going to see what I weigh in at tonight, but I'd like to be back down to 180 by the end of the month. If I really focus I can do it. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm stagnant and with the last month of the year here, a change has to be made.

So expect Tuesdays to be Weigh in Report and my plan for the week with results from the previous week.

Okay--well I survived a miserable post-holiday Monday and now on to the new week!!

Until next time

Investing in yourself

So I was out for my lunch-walk today and contemplating my post and my haphazard weight loss journey this past few months. It's been up and down...and up...and down...And I was thinking...hell, it's kind of like the stock market.
Actually that's quite eerie.

Anyway--as I started thinking about it (long walks encourage my mind to wander...), I started thinking that it was definitely more like our weight loss journey than just a graph.

Some of the basic theories of economics...

Supply and Demand: The law of Supply - the higher the price, the higher the revenue. The law of Demand - the higher the price, the less people will buy. To find the price which will have the greatest effect, one mus find equilibrium.
Well, let's replace "Supply" with food, and "Demand" with fitness. The supply of food you need to sustain your body's energy should be in equilibrium with the amount of energy you use through fitness and daily tasks. If all is equal, you will maintain your weight. When our "supply" increases, so must our "demand" to keep that equilibrium. If we want to lose weight, we must decrease our "supply" and/or increase our "demand". If we increase our "supply" without increasing our demand, that equilibrium is thrown off and we gain weight.

The Stock Game: As any stockholder knows, the key to a successful stock is it's investors. The more money people invest in the company, the more the stock is worth, and the higher it goes in the market. If the value starts going down or gets unpredictable or some obstacle gets in the way, people freak out and stop investing. If it continues, the value plummets and the stock crashes. It's exciting to see the stock line going in the right direction (in this case, up), but it's normal that there's a general up and down in the market.

Investing in yourself: Well, weight loss is no different. You are investing in yourself the time and energy to make yourself healthy. If things are going well, your weight loss value increases. But we tend to freak ourselves out when we see the scale going the other way, or not moving, or if our choices tend to get off track. We freak out and our self-value plummets--our motivation, our willpower, and our efforts drop, and if we don't take action and start investing in ourselves again, we will crash. We not only need to find that equilibrium to help our value go up, but we need to understand that there will be a natural up and down in our market. The key is to keep investing in ourselves to see the results.

Quarterly/Annual Reports: Oh yes. Those quarterly reports. It's the company's way of reporting to it's shareholders and the general public on it's progress. It's accountability for the company. And of course let's not forget annual reports and stockholders meetings. It's a way for the company to assess it's progress, goals and process.
What? Did you say accountability? Reporting? That sounds awfully familiar! Duh. We report by tracking our food and exercise. We are held accountable at weigh ins. We write blogs. We definitely hold ourselves accountable for what we are doing. Not only that, but we are working towards goals such as our 5% or 10% weight loss, and we are achieving those little by little. We also use those reports to assess our progress. If we're not meeting our goals, how can we improve our process. If we are meeting the goals, what is our next goal and how do we reward ourselves for meeting it. (Certainly not by a 4 million dollar bonus...wouldn't that be nice.)

Risks: Taking risks in the stock market can be the beginning or the end of your fortune. For instance, taking a risk by investing in a startup company could end up being the next Apple and you're rolling in the dough as you groove to your iTunes typing an email on your iPhone; or it could be the next dotcom fiasco and you're back to working at Mickey D's (NOOOOO!! HAVE YOU SEEN THE POINTS FOR THE MEALS THERE???) But taking risks are a part of the game. You just have to make those smart risk decisions.
In weight loss, we take risks too. We try out new equipment. New foods. We challenge ourselves to reach a goal by a certain date, increase our fitness, or to make it a month without our trigger food. Sometimes those risks pay off big time... Sometimes they don't. And sometimes we let those risks get the best of us by taking advantage of them too much. Overindulging in that new superfood or overdoing it at the gym and getting injured. But our risks generally are fairly moderate and are usually with a good intention behind it.

Rewards: The real stock market is certainly a field people get involved in because of the potential rewards. They like the game, but they are in it for the possible millions of dollars they could make from investing. And then the bonuses, vacations, luxury cars, etc. all come into play.
Many of us in our journeys choose the rewards system as well. By reaching those mini goals, we allow ourselves to indulge in new clothes, spa services or the like. And then there are the natural rewards of weight loss--feeling better, looking better, and the self-confidence it gives you. It's certainly why we do what we do. And it's a long hard journey, but the payoff in the end, is huge.

Now I am by no means well versed in economics or the stock market, but I know the basics, as I know the basics of weight loss. The one thing to take away from this is finding that equilibrium and investing in our own value of health. If our value drops a bit, we learn to pick up and move forward before it gets out of control and we crash ourselves. Taking risks, and reaping the rewards make it all part of the experience.

I've had trouble keeping on my game when it comes to weight loss lately, but I have to learn to remind myself that I am investing in myself. I haven't been winning all the fights, but I am doing little things that are helping to move me towards a healthier me. My swing dancing classes are picking up, I'm doing more of my workout DVDs at home, and I'm trying to eat purer, healthier foods to give myself the right nutrition.

All my effort will pay off big-time in my own dividends, and when I reach my ultimate goal weight, I will have done so knowing that I did it for good reason, with a lot of hard work, and a big smile on my skinny face.

How do you invest in yourself?

Until next time

November happenings

Hello all! I hope you had a great Halloween weekend & didn't let the candy get the best of you. I had this fantastic post about the festivities which I wrote up last week but ended up losing once I started trying to change around HTML. Ah well.

A new week & a new month!

I am happy to report that last week was a good week. After going to weigh in on Wednesday, I had a successful week of eating.

My week's Achievements:

• Did not eat one piece of Halloween candy!
• Passed up on bar food Friday night after the show
• Stuck with homemade food and store bought food most of week/weekend rather than getting takeout.
• Returned to swing dancing last night & was better than ever!
• Tracked everything since last Monday (including donut binge on Tuesday) & since Wednesday did not go into weeklies until Sunday cast party.
• Have not touched donuts in freezer since Tuesday
  
• Have not touched ice cream in freezer at work (brought by boss on Friday)
• Have found various ways to distract myself from eating including knitting/crochet, gum, organizing...
  

I kept on plan, I resisted temptation, and last night's weigh in was a happy one. 4lbs! I'm very surprised it was that much since the previous weeks seemed so permanently damaging, but I guess making those changes made a big difference. It's kind of like the first weigh in all over again. So I'm back to 186.4

I did start fresh too by requesting a new membership book. I felt it would help me look at this next few months in a fresh light. Plus mine had literally fallen apart, so it was time. I had gotten a new one when they revamped the program last December (oh lord, I hope they don't make more changes this year!) so this is now my third membership book since I started. I definitely made progress since I started this last book, but not as much as I would have thought I would have. 13 lbs in almost a year. And of course that has been up and down as opposed to the steady loss I had the first 8 months.

So now I'm 21 lbs away from goal, and I probably won't be there by Dec 31st as I had hoped, especially with holidays approaching. But with two months left, I certainly can get out of the 180s. So that is my goal. I want to be solidly in the 170s by December 31st and celebrating a new year with a smile. Averaging 1lb a week I think is reasonable. Sometimes it will be more, and sometimes it may be less, but I can do it. I will do it. From there I will look at what I need to do to get to goal.

I really want to be at my goal weight before my 2 year WW anniversary in April, which again, is totally reasonable, but I need all my resources at hand, all my willpower and motivation charged, and I need to not let myself sabotage my efforts and to go on this roller coaster ride on the scale.

Oh, and here's my Halloween costume--Little Bo Peep. I spent the evening looking for my lost sheep. I didn't find them, but I did find some wolves...and NOT in sheep's clothing :)


Have a great day everyone!

Until next time

The damage

Weighed in last night. I specifically went to a meeting a little further than me so I could have my regular leader. I needed her support. Even though having someone new every once in a while provides a fresh outlook, but I needed my leader to be able to sit through this meeting, accept my fate on the scale and move on.

It was a good meeting, but I didn't get to really talk to her afterward like I wanted to because others went up to her first and there was a big crowd and I didn't feel like waiting. I figure I can talk to her on Monday when I am at my regular meeting. I was unexpectedly a little upset though as I left because I felt like I needed her to encourage me and help me figure out why I've been putting up these obstacles and roadblocks for myself. I mean, I guess I know all of this already, but I needed to hear it from her.

Anyway--the damage: 4.6 lbs. That brings me back up to 190.4

Ugh. I didn't think I'd ever have to see that number again. But I'm glad I did because it was the final alarm of my wake up call that I've been hitting snooze on for a while.

I did this. But I can do something about it. I choose to change.

I started by hitting up the grocery store right after the meeting and stocked up on the good stuff--fruits & veggies, yogurt, hummus & pretzels--all my favorite fresh foods. My feel good foods.

And when I got home, I was super hungry. I could have gone to the freezer for those Holey Donuts that had arrived the day before and that I had binged on for no good reason. Only 4pts apiece but BOY do they add up. Instead I opted for health.

Actually I ate quite a bit--but I didn't even use all my points! Pretzels & Hummus (portioned out instead of right out of the container), turkey wrap w/FF cheese & cucumbers, greek yogurt w/high fiber cereal, and an apple. All of that was 12.5 points. I had a relatively low point lunch (and no breakfast), so I had quite a bit of points left for the day. But it was satisfying both in hunger and knowing that I made great choices.

Tonight I probably won't get to eat dinner because I am going straight from work to an event to rehearsal, but I have a hearty lunch planned, and snacks for later to keep me from getting too hungry and then binging later.

I feel refreshed from all this. I am still disappointed for letting myself get this far off track, but I am moving forward and am ready for the change.

My horoscope even tells me so:

Sharper than ever, your vision will be able to show you what changes you must make.

The stars always tell it like it is :)

Until next time

Choose wisely & reap the rewards

Last night I was watching the Biggest Loser and at the end when I was watching the transformation "after" of the contestant who got kicked off, something struck a chord with me. In a motivational speech she was giving, she said "You can choose differently." In our darkest hours, you have control over your life and it's the choices that you make that affect the outcome. You can choose differently.

Now this is neither my darkest hour nor is it anything remotely close to the circumstances she was referring to, but it is applicable.

Our choices shape our lives. They shape the outcome. They shape our energy and our relationships and our day to day events.

Lately my choices have been dismal. My eating choices, my lack of inactivity choices. They are thoughtless choices, but choices nonetheless. Returning to old habits out of laziness and not thinking how the food I'm eating or buying will affect me are all choices I've been making lately and then regretting. I've had ample opportunity to start making good choices but have continued this route of bad decisions, while making every excuse in the book as to why I'm making these choices. And the lack of inactivity has been a big drawback as well. Usually if I'm active, I tend to think twice about what I'm eating, knowing that I'm putting hard work into my exercise and I don't want to waste the effort. And I keep whining about it--without doing anything about it.

I have disappointed myself. I have hidden in denial from the truth. I have only blogged sparingly knowing how pitiful these choices and excuses seem. Yet I have not chosen to do anything differently.

Today I am revisiting my goals and motivation asking myself what's in it for me.

What do I want?

• To get back on track
• To get to my goal weight
• To feel healthy again
• To feel motivated again
• To feel fit again
• To hit those Feats of Strength with a smile of accomplishment
  
• To incorporate healthy living into all aspects of my life
• To stop making excuses!

Why do I want this?

• Because I'm turning 30 in 7 months and I want to start the next decade of my life healthy.
• Because I want to wear those skinny jeans and look GOOD in them
• Because I want to wear a bikini on the beach
• Because I want to achieve those fitness goals and keep striving for more
  
• Because I want to not have to think about weight for ONCE in my life!

When do I want this?

• By the end of the year I want to hit my goal of 165
• Six weeks of maintenance = Valentine's Day (mid Feb)
• By April 21 (2 year WW anniversary) I want to have maintained my weight and be comfortable in my body, my habits, and my life.

How will I do this?

• Making the right decisions starting today
• Tracking & being aware of food point values
• Committing to exercise
• Leaving behind old habits & developing new healthy habits
• Stop making excuses

I need to hold myself accountable. I need to stop being lazy. I need to change my life. It's not going to be easy, but I need to do this for me. I will do this for me.

I'm starting this by weighing in tonight. Yes, I skipped Monday's weigh in. Shamefully so. There was no reason for me to stay home, but I did because for the first time I was afraid of what the scale was going to say. I don't know why, I've had plenty of gains in the past. I've gone into the meeting knowing I was going to gain and still weighed in. But this week I was a coward.

I'm going tonight.

It's not about baby steps. It's about one steady step at the time. I'm not putting my foot down unless I know where it's going to land and that where I put it is the right place.

This is it. This is my choice.

And I choose to take action.

So bear with me as I regain my footing in this journey, accept my faults, and move past these missteps towards a better version of me.

Now the work begins.
Until next time.

Back in...

...the Saddle
(That could totally be me...if...I rode...horses)

Good Afternoon to all you lovely friends of the blogosphere! I hope you're enjoying your day. I certainly am. I spent my morning at Bloomingdales...for work. Could it get any better?

Okay--back to the topic at hand. I am back in the clichéd saddle. I finally went running last night and it felt great. After 45 days of not doing any exerted exercise other than walking, I finally just got up and did it. And granted I probably should have started off a little slower than I did (I ran most of the 2.5 miles), I pushed through some of my usual struggles including breathing issues, side cramps and leg fatigue and I did it. And I'm going to do it again tonight. Even with the heat during the day, it cooled down nicely by 9pm and it was perfect for running. Plus my apartment was a sauna so it was actually nicer to be outside.

My energy level was high yesterday--and I was ready to take full advantage of it. If that wasn't enough, my meeting last night was another driving factor--both positive and negative.

Negative first.
I had another gain. It was only .4 lbs, but being that this was the 3rd week in a row I've gained (which has not happened to me ever since I started WW), it was a slap in the face. I need to start making changes. I can't skirt by as I'd been doing for a while with the bare minimum expecting to see results. I won't go into details about the negatives of last week because I don't want to dwell on them*. Moving forward...

The positives:
The meeting topic was about getting off track. My leader specifically talked about Plateaus, but it was entirely appropriate to what I've been going through the past few weeks--addressing why you aren't losing weight. Lack of focus, getting sloppy, monotony etc. I don't know if it necessarily enlightened me on anything, but it did reinforce the fact that I need to take control of this before it gets out of hand.

Even more helpful was after the meeting, my leader came up to ask how I was doing & we started talking about helping me get back on track. Just talking about it seemed to get me back in the momentum. AND one of my fellow meeting members came up and asked me about how I lost my weight. I have to admit I probably was a bit of a Debbie Downer because I was still a bit cranky about gaining, but I tried to give her some of my tips (basically everything that I wasn't doing for the past month). Next week I plan on being a little more helpful to her. So all of this, plus the fact that I felt like I was finally getting my head together to get back on track really helped to motivate me and give me back that positive spirit I'd been missing.

Looking back...
Even though last week didn't go as well as I'd hoped, there were some positive improvements:

• I tracked...most** of my food--on WW.com and in my work planner
• I brought my lunch every day. Home made is always better.
• I walked at lunch during the nicer days. Hey it was a start right?
• I hydrated! Boy did I ever. Bathroom trips were frequent.
• I limited TV, at least at the beginning of the week. I didn't necessarily take that time to do something productive, but even going to bed was better than sitting there mindlessly.
• I did not drink unnecessary alcohol--only on the weekend at two parties--and that was also limited.
• I started practicing a new habit (mentioned at Losing My Thighs) of putting my food down between bites to be able to savor the taste and slow down eating. When I am conscious of it and practice it, it actually works! It makes food last longer too. Point in case-my chocolate chip cookie is only 1/2 eaten 10 minutes after I started it! Chances are I won't be wanting a 2nd one.
  
• Even though I had a rough week last week, my obsessive blog-browsing got me psyched again for moving in the right direction.

*Note to self-don't fall for two-for-one deals on snacks. Like Goldfish. They're evil.
** Most of my food...weekends still tend to get lost in the shuffle. Don't know if I'll ever get past that.

So here's to a fresh week of conscious efforts to get back in the saddle and keep on riding!
Until next time

Fitness Schitzophrenia

On one hand...I really want to get back to exercising. My body needs it. Both because of the way it's starting to look, but more importantly, the way it's feeling.

On the other hand...I'm being completely lazy giving every excuse in the book preventing myself from getting back into the fitness groove.

I sit here at the computer dreaming of all the different activities I could be doing if I wasn't at work--walking, running, dvd, strength training. But then I go home and the excuses take over

It's raining. It's hot. I have to build my way back to it. I'm tired. I should eat dinner first. I'm too full to exercise. It's dark out. Was that Thunder?

It's Endless. And then I get angry at myself for making these excuses and not just doing it. My body is feeling the consequences yet I can't seem to get myself back into the groove. I mean, here I am obsessing over all the fitness/weight loss blogs getting ideas and motivation to do it. And then do I take that motivation and literally run with it? Nope.

I feel like I'm in a relationship with exercise: I love you but I hate you...

I know it's a matter of Just Do It, but I have to get past this constant out-psyching myself. Argh. I've got a 5k to work towards by the end of Sept. I better get my butt in gear.

I'll keep you updated.

Until next time

Obsessing

Okay--so perhaps it is my re-commitment to getting healthy, perhaps it is procrastination from work, and perhaps it is just part of my personality, but I have spent the past two days obsessively browsing blogs. Weight-loss blogs, fitness blogs, food blogs...and even Martha Stewart recipes.

I can't help it. There's so many of them. And they're all a little different, but all provide a little bit extra motivation to help me meet my goals. More cumbersomely, they all reference other blogs which leads me on an endless chain of blog-transfixion, wasting hours upon hours of time.

Anyway--all that aside, I thought I would share some interesting ones. These happen to be ones that I specifically relate to in one way or another. There are so many great ones out there, I couldn't list them all!

Disclaimer: I am merely offering these up as information and resources. I cannot be held responsible for any consequences derived from your own blogging addiction which may not have been a problem before this, but still--if your boss/spouse/kids/animals/plants have a problem with your lack of attention, do not blame me!

Fitness blogs:

• Fit Bottomed Girls: A new find for me, this website offers articles written for us health-conscious giving reviews, information, and points of view on all things health & fitness--and they do it with such a cute layout!
  http://fitbottomedgirls.blogspot.com/
• Cranky Fitness: Written by two ladies, Crabby McSlacker and Merry Sunshine, it's more of the "realist" (as opposed to the optimist) point of view on health. But it sure is entertaining.
  http://www.crankyfitness.com/
• Miz Fit: Miz Fit's standpoint is "To embrace and love whom you already are.To be wholly comfortable in your own skin. To realize that, by virtue of BEING, you are enough. To be unapologetically yourselves." Cool.
  http://mizfitonline.com/
  

Weight loss blogs:

• One Blonde Ambition: Ashley's been one of my favorite blogs to check in on and since we have a lot in common, she's been a great support and inspiration to me as we move towards our goals
  http://oneblondeambition.blogspot.com/
• Bare it All: Another blog I regularly check in on as we struggle to keep some balance in our lives. She's great at posting her goals and sticking to them!
  http://bikinibodbyaugust1.blogspot.com/
• Prior Fat Girl: Energy abounds with Jen, a Prior Fat Girl who has lost over 100 lbs. She regularly posts reviews about different healthy snacks, fitness, and succeeds in motivating all her readers with her story and her posts.
  http://www.priorfatgirl.com/
• Confessions of a + sized Girl: A new blog I recently came across, but another honest account of her weight loss struggles.
  http://getpastthemoment.blogspot.com/
• The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl: Another inspirational woman who successfully lost half her body weight and blogged about it, and now helps to inspire others.
  http://www.dietgirl.org/
• Pasta Queen: How can you not love a blog with Pasta in the title. She says "I entered this world weighing 8 pounds 5 ounces and came close to leaving it at 372 pounds." Now at her goal, she also motivates others to get healthy. Check out her 3-D weight loss images!
  http://www.pastaqueen.com/
  

Food blogs:
Just a couple, but they're pretty good!
http://greenlitebites.com/
http://ashleescooking.blogspot.com/

Also, Martha Stewart's Evil Empire of websites had some great recipes too. Yesterday I was looking at these:
http://www.wholeliving.com/photogallery/healthy-snack-recipes
http://www.marthastewart.com/photogallery/no-cook-summer-recipes?#slide_1
You just have to watch some of her ingredients because some of them can make the food high in Points

Whew! That's a lot. (And that's not even including the fashion blogs I follow!!)
What are some of your favorites? Do you get obsessed with them too?

Until next time

Goal oriented

This week was tough getting back on the wagon. I felt more like I was running to catch up with it as it was driving down the road. I think I need to set some goals for myself.

Aside from making healthy food choices (which was on again off again this past week), I need to make some specific changes...

• TV will rot the brain. Turn it off: It's summer and I should not be spending my nights inside in my living room. There's nothing good on TV so there's no excuse. Anything I want to watch can be DVRed, so why not turn it off for the week. Go out-take a walk or a bike ride, meet up with friends, or even just read something. Plus not sitting in front of the TV will eliminate the snacking urges. TV Limit 1 hr per night. Unless a fitness DVD is involved.
• Sober up you Lush: Ever since my road trip I've been drinking more than I normally would. I've been a little blue lately and I found solace in coming home and enjoying a cold beer or two, plus drinking out with friends, family, you name it. I at least want to limit it to a couple drinks during the weekend. I'm not a big drinker, but I was certainly using it to get my mind off things and relax. Not a happy waistline. Which leads me to my next goal...
• Water yourself, then your plants: Drink. Water. Lots of it. Especially now that it's the steamy summer weather. My body needs it and it'll help meet some of the other goals like getting down under 180.
• You like to move it move it? Prove it: At least 30 minutes a day. Of whatever. Walking, jogging, dancing, ...doesn't matter. There's no reason not to and I'm doing myself a disservice to all my hard work if I don't keep it up.

I don't know what the scale is going to say tomorrow, but I won't be surprised if I see the number go up again. I put on a pair of pants today which I know were running a bit big a couple of weeks ago and they were a little snugger this time around. I also am noticing I'm not as toned as I was in the beginning of the month and that I'm getting much softer around the mid-section. I could blame it on being sick earlier in the month but the latter part of the month has been sheer laziness and lack of motivation. Time to change that.

Let's kick this week off right.

Until next time

Gaining momentum

This week's weigh in did end up with a 1lb gain. I was okay with that. Although in the back of my mind I was secretly hoping that I had somehow magically figured out the perfect balance of indulgence and health to possibly see a loss, I knew reality was going to tell me otherwise.

And honestly for all the eating and the minimal activity I did, 1lb isn't all that bad.

Since then I've been working on getting back to normal eating habits. During the day (due to my limited cash flow) I've been sticking with food brought from home--sandwiches and a veggie. Plus cereal for breakfast. Monday's dinner was homemade (really good salmon...honey & wasabi glaze along with rice & veggies), but I indulged in some Low Fat Frozen yogurt to go over my dailies and into my weekly points.

Last night's dinner was also really good although we ate out at one of my favorite mexican restaurants. The appetizer portion Chicken Quesadilla and a Tropical salad with mango & peppers (minimal dressing) were the good choices. The frozen margarita, tortilla chips and two out of four fried plantains which came w/my salad were the not so good choices. Actually the only one I really should have passed on was the margarita because of course it was empty calories. And out of the weekly points I used, that was more than half. At least I didn't get dessert or any movie candy. At home I just had a glass of milk (okay--so it was chocolate milk--FF syrup though!) before I went to bed.

I do need to go food shopping because my choices are getting very limited at home, and I have absolutely no fresh fruits or veggies. I've managed to have frozen veggies that I'll pre-cook and bring to work, but I'm really missing the fruit.

As for exercise, it's been so hot & humid and although I've gone out for walks at lunch, I definitely am slacking on the fitness bandwagon. Tonight I have free to run, but it's supposed to rain. It's supposedly going to cool off a bit though, so maybe an early morning run tomorrow.

It's been interesting getting back into the groove--I spent much of yesterday looking at WW articles online to see if anything caught my eye to help motivate me. I think I'm going to revisit some of those Motivating strategies (Tools for Living) and give myself a kick in the butt.

One thing I am going to be working towards is looking and feeling good for my 11 year HS reunion/happy hour at the end of the month. Yes, 11 year. Our class was a little slow on the planning...at least it's better than the 12 year which the class before us will be celebrating with us. Anyway--my point is I have something to move towards. I certainly want to hit the 50 lb mark (SO CLOSE!) before then, but more importantly I want to feel good for it. And I already have a dress to look smashing in!!

Until next time