Choose wisely & reap the rewards

Last night I was watching the Biggest Loser and at the end when I was watching the transformation "after" of the contestant who got kicked off, something struck a chord with me. In a motivational speech she was giving, she said "You can choose differently." In our darkest hours, you have control over your life and it's the choices that you make that affect the outcome. You can choose differently.

Now this is neither my darkest hour nor is it anything remotely close to the circumstances she was referring to, but it is applicable.

Our choices shape our lives. They shape the outcome. They shape our energy and our relationships and our day to day events.

Lately my choices have been dismal. My eating choices, my lack of inactivity choices. They are thoughtless choices, but choices nonetheless. Returning to old habits out of laziness and not thinking how the food I'm eating or buying will affect me are all choices I've been making lately and then regretting. I've had ample opportunity to start making good choices but have continued this route of bad decisions, while making every excuse in the book as to why I'm making these choices. And the lack of inactivity has been a big drawback as well. Usually if I'm active, I tend to think twice about what I'm eating, knowing that I'm putting hard work into my exercise and I don't want to waste the effort. And I keep whining about it--without doing anything about it.

I have disappointed myself. I have hidden in denial from the truth. I have only blogged sparingly knowing how pitiful these choices and excuses seem. Yet I have not chosen to do anything differently.

Today I am revisiting my goals and motivation asking myself what's in it for me.

What do I want?

• To get back on track
• To get to my goal weight
• To feel healthy again
• To feel motivated again
• To feel fit again
• To hit those Feats of Strength with a smile of accomplishment
  
• To incorporate healthy living into all aspects of my life
• To stop making excuses!

Why do I want this?

• Because I'm turning 30 in 7 months and I want to start the next decade of my life healthy.
• Because I want to wear those skinny jeans and look GOOD in them
• Because I want to wear a bikini on the beach
• Because I want to achieve those fitness goals and keep striving for more
  
• Because I want to not have to think about weight for ONCE in my life!

When do I want this?

• By the end of the year I want to hit my goal of 165
• Six weeks of maintenance = Valentine's Day (mid Feb)
• By April 21 (2 year WW anniversary) I want to have maintained my weight and be comfortable in my body, my habits, and my life.

How will I do this?

• Making the right decisions starting today
• Tracking & being aware of food point values
• Committing to exercise
• Leaving behind old habits & developing new healthy habits
• Stop making excuses

I need to hold myself accountable. I need to stop being lazy. I need to change my life. It's not going to be easy, but I need to do this for me. I will do this for me.

I'm starting this by weighing in tonight. Yes, I skipped Monday's weigh in. Shamefully so. There was no reason for me to stay home, but I did because for the first time I was afraid of what the scale was going to say. I don't know why, I've had plenty of gains in the past. I've gone into the meeting knowing I was going to gain and still weighed in. But this week I was a coward.

I'm going tonight.

It's not about baby steps. It's about one steady step at the time. I'm not putting my foot down unless I know where it's going to land and that where I put it is the right place.

This is it. This is my choice.

And I choose to take action.

So bear with me as I regain my footing in this journey, accept my faults, and move past these missteps towards a better version of me.

Now the work begins.
Until next time.