Celebrating with Fat

Today my boss treated us to ice cream to celebrate the beginning of our new fiscal year. Yay! Except now I feel guilty.

I had ice cream last night too. After chinese food (Sesame Chicken--my fav...but certainly not WW friendly)

Neither of those times did I really want the ice cream. Definitely didn't need the ice cream. But it was there being offered to me in all it's yummy summertime glory. It was an offer I could not refuse.

But seriously--why not? I've been on the ball the past few weeks. I knew better. I wasn't craving it or anything so why wouldn't I just say no thank you. Am I that weak to resist a sweet treat? I mean I'm all about celebrating, but why do we celebrate with food? And why does that food end up being the worst kind of food for us? Cake, ice cream, high calorie drinks, sugar, fat, sugar, fat, sugarfatsugarfatsugarfat....

Okay maybe I'm obsessing a bit, but seriously, I want to prepare myself to be stronger in these situations so I don't regret it later either thinking about it or when I get on that scale Monday evening. Last night I knew it was a bad idea yet I went along with it and even halfway through the ice cream I'm thinking "why am I eating this????" It wasn't even all that amazing (which is uncommon for this shop in Tarrytown with homemade ice cream...) I even thought about throwing it away halfway through. But I didn't. I finished it. Today's at least was yummy, but I still had those thoughts running through my head--why didn't I get the fat free stuff, why didn't I get the kid size...why am I eating this???"

Seriously.

Anyway-I"m not going to beat myself up about it, but I wanted to blog to my readers and see how others deal with celebratory food or summertime treats.

Do you indulge? Do you pass them up? What goes through your head when you make this decision?

Until next time

Weigh-in update & Happiness rambling.

Weigh in was good--2.8 lbs (thank goodness some of that 8 lb gain is gone...). I'm happy but I've still got a ways to go considering at the beginning of September I was at 181 and now I'm at 186.

At our meeting we talked about emotional eating, which I don't consider to be one of my flaws, but in a way it is...I don't eat because I'm sad or angry. I eat out of boredom and happiness. Boredom I've discussed constantly. Eating out of happiness on the other hand is something we don't really consider emotional eating.

Holidays, birthdays, weddings, girls (or guys) night out, etc. These are all happy celebrations or occasions. And this is when my defenses go a little slack. It's the "oh, I love mom's coffee cake that she only makes once a year, I have to have a piece. Just one" But of course that one piece was after mom's penne vodka that she only makes for special occasions and the special cheese that she got from Seattle that she put out for appetizers, and the two (I'm being conservative) glasses of wine...etc.

Or going out with the girlfriends and only having drinks and appetizers as we sit and chat about the latest news and gossip. But those drinks (which again always end up being at least a couple) add up as do the appetizer. And then you're in the mood for dessert which you split, but still is big enough for six of you and there's only two or three...

Not that there's anything wrong with these outings, but if they're more than once every few weeks, these things add up. So with the holidays coming up (ugh), these special happy occasions suddenly are a happening a few times a month, or even per week.

So what do we do? Accept and move on? Plan for the inevitable eating by getting in extra exercise that day/week? Or limit your celebration eating? I guess some of these events are easier than others. I'm more likely to restrain myself at family events than with my friends. I don't know why really, but I'd rather gossip and giggle over food and drinks than water and salad.

At the meeting we talked about assessing hunger signals--when you're hungry vs. when you just want food to satiate an emotion; knowing when you're satisfied and when it's time to stop eating; and not letting yourself get so hungry and end up making poor food choices or binging. This is something I really haven't consciously worked on. Maybe it's time for me to pay attention to these hunger signals and question why I'm eating when I'm not hungry. Easier said than done when it comes to these "happy" eating occasions, but it's something worth trying.

On that note....time for dinner!

Until next time

I'd like to thank the Academy...

Okay first I need you to do something.

Scroll down. Quickly. All the way. To the bottom of my blog page. Ignore the rest. Keep scrolling. All the way. To the ticker.

I'll wait.

*Hold music

Do do do do do do da da da dum

Hold music

Do do do do do do da da da dum

Hold music

Do do do do do do da da da dum deeeeeeeeee

Hold music*

Back?

Now let's celebrate, cuz it's official..............

I'VE LOST 50 LBS!!!!!!!!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

You have no idea how excited...and SHOCKED I was yesterday at the scale. I was expecting a loss. But 3.8 lbs??? What's up with that? I don't know. I'm not asking questions. I LOST 50 LBS!!!

My only regret was that my leader was not there yesterday, she was on vacation. So I got my milestone key chain charm & magnet from another leader who I've been to meetings with but it wasn't the same. Joan will be back next week so I'll let her know and celebrate with her too. I did have one of my best friends Robyn there with me though, and I was happy for her to be a part of it.

Now I just have to keep up the momentum and not backtrack!

Until next time

Weigh in & The week ahead

So last night's weigh in posted another loss. 0.8 lbs! That brings me to almost 45lbs. And that's seven weeks in a row of straight losses!! I haven't had that since I started WW. I of course hope I'm not jinxing myself now...

I want to work to keep that going, but this week is going to be interesting. It's my first week without rehearsals or shows, and I've got a lot more free time on my hands. This could be good (I have more time to fit in exercise) or it could be a disaster (more time sitting in front of the tv snacking).

Obviously I'm aiming to make it as productive as possible, but just last night, I sat catching up on Grey's Anatomy episodes (so I could watch the finale which I hear is a shocker!), and snacking on pretzels and chocolate. I don't even really like chocolate!! But it was there. I wasn't hungry at all (in fact I was full from my 1/2 cheeseburger & fries that I had leftover from the weekend) but I continued to snack.

Tonight I'm going to a movie & I'd like to try to fit in a walk, and then tomorrow I'm going jogging again with my friend. I won't have any crazy long walks to or from the supermarket this week, but I want to fit in as much activity as I can because on Friday, the celebrations begin.

Friday is Global Julia Day...aka my birthday! And I'm planning a lot of drinking that night. On top of that I'm working a wedding on Saturday and will be having some good (hopefully Indian) food that evening. Since Monday is a holiday I was thinking of possibly weighing in Sunday morning...but I think that will depend on how Friday night and Saturday night goes. And then Sunday I wanted to spend the day outdoors but I haven't settled on anything yet.

Monday is my day o'shopping which I had planned as a goal and a celebration back in April. I didn't get down to 180 as I planned, but I still made a lot of progress (7 straight weeks of losing weight ain't nothing to sneeze about!) and I want to take advantage of Memorial Day sales. I have to figure out how much money I can actually spend since I'm incredibly broke & have a lot of bills I need to pay...and then the whole not-working in July thing...but I still want to go shopping and Hell, I deserve it.

So that's my week & weekend in a nutshell. Lots to plan and lots of fun to be had.

Until next time

One year on WW = Shrinking Julia!

Thanks to a friend of mine visiting this weekend, I had some new photos taken. We were out and about in NYC living the life.

This is also the same friend who I had my original photos from exactly one year ago before I joined WW.

Here's the before at 230 lbs...

(yikes)

And some afters at 190 lbs...




What I'm absolutely amazed about is how small my shoulders and arms look! I can't get over that. In the photo w/my friend, my arms look the same size as hers! And she's tall and lanky thin! Even my legs in the (yes, it's a) pillow fight photo look skinny!!

I guess it is truly hard to recognize the progress just looking in a mirror, but now seeing what everyone else is seeing is truly encouraging!!

Happy anniversary to me!!

Until next time

No time, but I still gotta celebrate...

I never thought I'd see this number...certainly not on a scale...1-8-9.

189.

Okay, it's actually 189.6 which is almost 190...but 189!!!!! YAAAAAY!!!!

Honestly I didn't know what to expect at today's WI. I went way over my daily & weekly points last week with a lot of randomly high point foods, and today I ate quite a bit before the WI; but I was also running around a lot for work & probably burning extra calories. Plus the C25k I'm sure helped.

Whatever it was...WAHOO!!!

This week is going to be especially tough for me. With our dinner on Thursday, there's lots to do and little time. Most importantly I'm struggling trying to put together a video for work with my computer which is giving me a hard time saying it doesn't have enough memory to do things...I really just want to push it off a cliff. So until this week is done my routine is going to be anything but normal.

I should have gone out for my jog tonight, but it was so freaking cold & I just was not feeling it. I'm hoping to go out tomorrow morning, but...well, we all know how I do with morning workouts....I don't. On Saturday I graduated to Level 2 of the C25k which was really tough, but I felt very accomplished that I did it. Those 90 second sprints killed me, but damn I felt good. Stronger. Superwoman has got nothin on me. :)

Until next time

I'm overweight. YES!!!

Readers delight - I am officially overweight! Hurrah!

Confused?

Well. I am working my way down. I calculated my Body Mass Index (BMI) for both my starting weight and my current weight.

My starting weight was 230.6 and for my height of 5'9", I was at a BMI of 34.0. That is obese (Class I).

Currently I am 198.8 and at a BMI of 29.4 which is overweight. ROCK ON! Obviously I still have a long way to go, but this is something to celebrate!

And thanks to inspiration from another WW blogger, a different and visual way of charting my progress.


There's this website called My Virtual Model where you can create a model which (sort of) looks like you and it's based on your weight & height and other calculations. It allows you to compare your current weight with your goal weight to see how you will appear. It also is made for you to be able to virtually try on clothes from stores, see how they (might) look and then purchase them. It's fun. Gives me something to look forward to. Being a skinny virtual character :)

Until next time

Good news Tuesday!

Okay, so it's technically only 1am, so most of this good news came yesterday...but it's a new day.

First off - most importantly, I'm under 200! (Yes, again. But for real this time!)

I arrived late at my meeting again (thanks to chatting with my boss as usual just before I'm about to leave), and when I weighed in, I discovered that after my crazy non-stop eating week, I had managed to LOSE two pounds. TWO pounds! I couldn't lose two pounds if I had starved myself and gone to the gym everyday.

So that brings me back down to where I was the last time I was under 200--but this time it was at the end of the day. The only thing that I might have done was kept my sweater on since I came from work and I figured I'd lose it to make the damage as little as possible. Instead I was donned in my work pants & sleeveless shell. And I hadn't even done my last minute go to the bathroom to get any last minute water weight out.

I wasn't going to stay for the meeting, but since they were talking about preparing to survive the holidays while staying on plan, I figured it would be a good meeting to stay for. It was good. It got me thinking about Thanksgiving and planning for it. But it certainly was making me hungry too.

Another piece of news, somewhat good...somewhat evil, is that now that I'm under 200, my daily points have gone down again. I'm at 25 points per day plus my weekly 35. This might be a little tough because the past few months I've certainly struggled with the 26 points I had. So now to have one less, I'm going to really have to focus on keeping within the range. But on the other hand - this means I've taken another step to being at an all time low (as an adult) with my weight. And it's been four months since the last time I went down a daily food point. So Yay Me!

The other thing I'm excited about is that I got my very own laptop - complete with wireless internet that I installed - which I will be taking with me to the conference. This holds several purposes for me. One, to get work done while I'm away. (At least pretend to). Two, because I want to be able to stay in touch with email and stuff. Three, I can access WW.com and track my points. And four, and as I'm writing this blog, I'm feeling the flow of words, to be able to write my novel. There's something about typing on a laptop and having the freedom to use it anywhere to write my thoughts that just gets my fingers flying across the keyboard with words. Now I could take this to inspire myself to work on writing projects for work, but instead I am inspired to use the opportunity to work on fleshing out my novel for which I have finally come up with a concept. But I'll reveal that as I get further along.

So in a few hours I leave for my road trip and six days of adventure. But since I have this lovely little device to play with, I won't be missing anything.

Until next time

Trimphant Julia

Today is the day. I have done it.

I am under 200 lbs for the first time in probably about 10 years.

198.4 baby. 198.4.

Two things helped me with this. I didn't go to my weigh in last night (concert tix), and I happened to be nearby the center today, so I figured I might as well go. Because I hadn't eaten anything yet, I'm probably a pound less than I might have been at the end of the day.

I also have been tracking my food intake again. Not religiously (weekends tend to get lost in the shuffle), but at least I know what I'm eating.

Plus I've been running around like a mad woman most of this week (literally running), so I think I got some unplanned exercise.

Whatever it was...it worked.

And I refuse to ever be over that 200 mark again. Hell. No.

Winning outcome this week: To stay the same since my weigh in might have been a little under since I hadn't eaten.
I will do this by continuing to track my food & working on a targeted exercise plan.

Maybe I'll take an under 200 photo to celebrate as well.

Until next time

Flying high! 10%!!!

So even though last week was an all around bad week. Bad food and lots of it. Over used points. Very minimal exercise...yesterday's weigh in was most exciting.

I finally reached my 10% goal!!!! Hooray!!!!

I'm actually below my 10%! I'm down 24 lbs. (23 was the goal) I have a feeling next week might not be as exciting as this past week will probably catch up to me, but it doesn't matter. I REACHED MY 10%!!! I got my 10% keychain. I got congratulations & applause from my meeting friends. And I got a permagrin which should last at least a few days.

The only downside was that my leader wasn't there yesterday (damn you Bruce Springsteen concert). She would have been very excited for me too. And I'm not sure if I can go next Monday because my Italian cousins will be visiting. But I'm still very happy.

On a different note, this weekend was my future sister-in-law's bachelorette party. It was a fun time. The best part though was that I didn't feel like a large blob compared to the rest of the girls. Even though three out of the four were thin, I didn't feel like I stuck out. And the best is the photo of us on the bar where they filmed Coyote Ugly (actually called Hogs & Heifers).

I have never gotten up on a bar in my life. I have never looked at a group of girls with me in the photo & not thought "holy crap, I look huge there." And I have never seen myself in a miniskirt and t-shirt and smiled like I do now.

Rock on

Until next time

See. Julia. Disappear.

So last night was my first fitting of my bridesmaid dress for my brother's wedding taking place at the end of August (major diet challenges ahead).

So when I ordered the dress, I was between sizes & she wanted to give me the extra material (for my extra fun hips), so she ordered the next size up. I knew this was going to happen, it even happened with my friend's bridesmaid dress last year, that because of the extra size in the hips, and my completely disproportioned upper body, there was going to be some major alterations particularly in the bust-area. I also knew, that 20 lbs later was also going to make a difference in the fit.

Well, the seamstress was in shock when she came to fit the dress. I told her why it was so big, and it was really huge (I should have taken a before picture, but I couldn't get a good one in the mirror). It was a size 22, and I am a size 16. You do the math.

I have to tell you, it was a major ego boost. If you ever want to feel better about yourself, put on a giant dress or other piece of clothing. Of course it helps when you know you were that large at one point and now you're smaller, but it does put a smile on your face.

Plus the dress is really pretty--light blue satin/chiffon. It's hard to describe. I'll try to get a picture at my 2nd fitting in two weeks.

And yes, I'm still really happy about my 21.6 lb loss. This weekend is a little harder foodwise for some reason. I'm not as dedicated to staying on plan as usual. Not that I've been feasting on chips & ice cream (I did that last week), but I've been going over my lessened points value - oh yes, we're now down to 26 daily points - pretty much all week. I got in my walks too, except for yesterday, but I think this week is going to be a little rougher.

But--keep moving forward! 1.5 lbs to go before I can celebrate my big achievement :)

Until next time

Weigh-ins Rock! Bravo!

Okay--well they did this week. So I'm down another 1.8 lbs, which brings me to 9lbs overall. So it's taking me a little longer than I had hoped to make it to the 10lb mark, but I am not complaining.

And yesterday I skipped my last meditation class to actually stay for the meeting. I did this for two reasons...one, I was just not feeling dealing with the group or pretending to have meditated during the week for one lousy class which I obviously have been slacking on...And two, the topic of the WW meeting was getting through the holidays & parties, which with Birthday season here, and labor day weekend, I definitely needed this meeting.

And although it wasn't quite what I had hoped for in terms of discussion, it did give me some ideas. I'm going to be researching some guilt free cakes & stuff for celebrating birthdays, including mine on Thursday, and my dad's and some other friends. That way I can have my dessert & not be racking up the points.

The best part of yesterday's meeting though was the end when the leader goes around asking about people's successes for the week and giving out little "Bravo" star stickers. And since I had a good week both weigh-in wise & portioning & activity wise, I raised my hand, and attributed it to the fact that I started a blog (yay me!) tracking my progress and highlighting the Tools for Success. Well--she was so excited about this that she gave me a whole STRIP of stars (seriously, there must be about 40) for using the tools. Go me.

So tomorrow I plan to highlight the next tool for success. I had mentioned "Empowering Beliefs," but I might pick another one...just to spice things up :) Plus something more appropriate for my state of mind at the moment. We'll see.

Until next time!