Task: Evaluate & Assess

In a time long ago & far away when I first started my weight loss journey, I found a group of fellow weight loss & fitness bloggers whom I started following.

One of them was Ashley, who really helped inspire me and even though we've never met, we were in a similar place in our lives, our health and our weight loss, and it became a motivation to keep tabs on each other's progress. She's since continued her weight loss through all sorts of life changes (moving, marriage, new job) and continues to be an inspiration for me.

Recently she posted a self-assessment quiz from Betheny Frankel's book Naturally Thin. I've never read it, but I like this quiz and may just pick it up this weekend to check it out.

In the meantime--here is the quiz:

These are some of my favorite foods: cheese, anything with cheese, bread, fresh fruit, the combination of sweet & salty....I really like most foods

There are the foods I really don't like: this one is definitely more difficult...mayonnaise, red peppers (sometimes)...

This is how I feel about breakfast: I wish I had more time to make it. I lean towards starchy stuff even though I know protein should be included to keep me full.

I have a hard time controlling my eating when I'm feeling: bored...or when I'm in a bad food environment. Or when alcohol is involved.

I do really well eating in these situations: when I'm working out and having a good eating week

I have a hard time limiting my portions when I eat: chips, fries, cheese flavored stuff, any snacky foods...anything where there is a bag and multiple portions involved. Oh, and snacks during rehearsal.

This is how I feel about eating out in restaurants: Sometimes I just don't want a salad (it's hard not to order comfort food) but at the same time, restaurants don't provide enough vegetables...But I do enjoy trying new options off the menu.

I would describe my food philosophy like this: food philosophy? Eat & be happy? I think this is what I'm trying to re-evaluate.

I feel strong and healthy when I eat: lean protein, fresh veggies, fruit...

Am I a grazer or a binger: Binger :(

I'm really good at: getting excited about starting fresh. It's the keeping it going that is a problem.

I'm afraid of these foods: monkey brains. I dunno. I suppose anything fried is always bad news.

I would like to change these things about my eating: re-learn portions & control, plan ahead, add more fruits & veggies, not give into temptation.

I believe I am naturally thin because: hahahahah. what?

I'm also thinking about: how I'm going to do all of this, fit it into my schedule, and the progress I am determined to make.

Okay, that was a little scary thinking about all of that, but I think it was helpful. Maybe not anything new, but definitely forcing me to look at my habits.

Have any of you read Bethanny's book? Have you taken this quiz? Share your thoughts.

Also I posted my goals on the right side of the page which I will keep updated...both monthly & weekly. The weekly ones are according to the Weight Watchers website which I'm using as my overall guide to get back on track, develop healthy habits and simply change my life.

Until next time.

New month, new post, new start...

It's November. One of my least favorite months...those late fall days when the colors fade as the leaves fall, when it gets dark earlier each day, any time it rains the cold & damp soak through to your bones...

In other words, it's depressing.

So I guess it's a bit contradictory that I'm choosing this time of year for a starting point for getting back on the weight-loss wagon.

So why am I doing it?
1. I can't fit in my clothes comfortably anymore...and not in the good way. (I've had to dig into the "fat" clothes box)
2. After accomplishing 2 half marathons this spring, I could barely finish a 5k last week
3. Rolls, handles and tires should be on a car (shh) ...not on me.
4. I. Feel. Like. Crap.
5. I'm paying $40 a month on Weight Watchers and $30 on a gym...and I'm broke. You do the math.

Tonight I went to Weight Watchers for the first time since July. In four months I gained almost 14 lbs. WHATTHEFLOCK?

I knew it was bad, but the number was shocking. All in all, I've gained close to 30 lbs...IN THE PAST YEAR. Again...WHATTHEFLOCK?? Every time I tried to restart my engines, my head, laziness, potato chips something gets in my way. And it's just gotten me further and further from my goal. But it's got to change. For my health, my sanity, and my overall well being.

I won't go into any more sob stories, but I am setting up the following goals:

• To blog weekly. My schedule probably won't allow daily posts, but I can certainly aim for 3x a week. When I first started at WW, this blog really helped to keep me motivated and to hold myself accountable. Since I'm starting from scratch, I am committing to blogging again. And speaking of starting from scratch...goal #2
  
• Go back to basics. Re-read the Weight Watchers materials, follow the weekly plans, and take it step by step. Set goals and reach them, and evaluate progress both good & bad.
• Put myself first. My health needs to be a priority. My daily choices need to reflect that, and I am in control of those choices. Figure out what I need to do to be successful (like planning ahead, scheduling exercise...) and then do them.
  
• Persistence, not perfection. This is something which came out of my meeting tonight. It struck a chord with me. Despite all my missteps along the way...I haven't completely given up. I am still trying. Which means that this persistence will pay off.

Hope there are still some of you out there...I could use your support more than ever!

Until next time

Come together right now...

This week's ever changing motivation is brought to you by: my (ridiculously amazing) relationship.

Ah, motivation.

It comes in all sorts of forms, from the "I've had enough of not fitting comfortably in a theater seat" type of motivation to the "Oh, Zumba...that looks like fun--I can do that..."

It's how we stick with things that we want to accomplish that matter.

My boyfriend read my post from a couple of weeks ago regarding the Chinese food incident. (I LOVE YOU!)

I guess reading what I was feeling struck a chord with him and he decided both for his health and my goals to make a plan for himself to rid his body of the bad foods & start from scratch with healthy foods and exercise. In addition to him losing weight with this process, he'll be supporting me in my efforts.

This not only made me happy for him and his health, but it encouraged me to put my best foot forward and keep on pushing towards my goals.

Two weeks ago I had my amazing plan. And I stuck to it--for the most part. I had to rearrange some workouts, but I stuck to meals pretty well. There were a few poor food decisions on my part, and a minor emotional break down on that Sunday when I didn't complete my workout schedule as I'd planned, but overall it was fine. But then I gained 2.4 lbs. Almost entirely because of Aunt Flo (also cause of the breakdown) so I should not have been discouraged, but the following week I did a complete 180 and had a workout-free eating fest on Monday followed by several days of poor food choices. Hence the not blogging for a week.

On Saturday my friend and motivator Fit Chick Megan came to town for the day and we went out together to work out. We did about 3 miles of jogging/walking together and it felt great to get back into the game. While she went off to camp for a week where she efficiently mapped out a jogging course and plans to strength train (using kids for dumbbells), I used that as motivation to get back into my planning game.

So all these elements have come together this week to motivate me to get on track and stay on track. With the boyfriend and I working together to plan healthy meals and strengthen ourselves together and Megan around to keep motivating each other to push ourselves to Fitness, I have a feeling this is going to be a good week.

Share with us! Who or what pushes you to keep going? How do you collaborate to keep going?

Until next time

Some realizations

So in the last couple of weeks or so, I've been trying to organize my life. Both professional and personal. I've always been a proponent of getting organized, but rarely have I been able to stay organized for long. Whether keeping a scheduled routine, keeping up with goals, or something as simple as keeping my clothes organized, I've always managed to start falling behind.

I guess as a part of now living with someone, I've had to reorganize my life & schedule once again, but this time I'm accountable to someone else. And lately I've been trying to use that to my advantage.

Last week I had a fantastic week of working out and a ridiculously horrible week of eating. I did manage to lose 1.4 lbs through it all, but I knew there is still plenty of work to be done.

With some inspiration from a fellow Fit Chick Megan, I worked out a schedule for my meals and my workouts, and I did it with my boyfriend and both of our calendars out. We knew which days we were having dinner out, we figured out what we could cook and then what I could take for lunch the next day--whether leftover or a simple lunch. We scheduled in my workouts. He even promised to come to the gym with me two mornings this week. So far we didn't make yesterday, but there's still tomorrow. Hey--this plan isn't completely fool proof...

I feel so much more in control of my life this week and it also makes me happy to have his support through the process. I felt it especially important to ask for his help because we're in this together and I knew it would be that much harder to make these changes & schedule if I didn't put it out there for him to know.

Realizing there are certain things that I can do to excel this process and WRITING THEM DOWN is important. Things such as keeping my activity level high and avoiding fried foods of any kind (I foolishly thought I had that under control...) Next week I think I'm going to start tracking my water intake too.

The other important realization I've been having over the past month is that I don't have a specific motivation anymore. And my motivation, I mean Why is this worth it to me? What is going to keep me going and remind me what I'm doing it for when I'm standing at the supermarket with a bag of chips in my basket or reaching for the 2nd helping of mac & cheese, or stealing french fries off my boyfriend's plate...why am I doing this? Why am I going through this weight loss journey? Is it to look better in skinny jeans? For my health? To reach fitness goals? To set an example for my future kids? I think it's a combination of all of those as well as to prove to myself that I CAN do it once and for all.

So this week, in addition to sticking to my schedule I laid out (which for the most part I have...) I want to put in writing WHAT DO I WANT out of this weight loss journey. What do I want to accomplish other than a number or a size? And then I want to keep some sort of reminder of that goal when I'm struggling or feeling down.

Share with us! What realizations have you had on your weight loss or fitness journey?

Until next time

Keep on trucking

Ah summer. Time to shed those clothes and be outdoors.

So even though I've been MIA on this blog, I haven't given up on my goals!

As of this week's weigh in I am at 194 lbs which is 2.8 lbs down from where I was 3 weeks ago. Maybe a little slow, but still, three weeks in a row I've had a loss which really hasn't happened in almost exactly a year. I may not have been focused the whole three weeks, but I definitely am still feeling the ambition.

I've been pretty good at fitting in some daily exercise--which has been at the very least a walk.

I've been trying my hardest to keep tracking, but at the very least I'm aware of my portion sizes and what I'm putting into my mouth (no binge or nighttime eating!)

Of course I am still adjusting to living with my boyfriend Josh and finding our routine. But it hasn't been too hard. And it keeps me occupied at night so I'm not reaching for those snacks.

Anyway--I wanted to post an update, and I'm going to be doing a fitness challenge with a group of friends starting next week with my goal to be able to Run 5miles 3x a week by Labor Day. That's 9 weeks. Then in September run a 10k race (6.3 miles)
I'm going to do this by setting weekly Mini goals to keep myself on track. I know I've said this before and haven't done it, but this time I've got some different motivation-being fed up with my lack of following through and backsliding on my weight loss progress.

I'm excited about this challenge and I have some friends who are going to be working with me on their own fitness challenge to help motivate each other. YAY!

What are your goals for the summer and how are you going to achieve them?

Has it really been three months?

Egad!

Well, the last three months have been nonstop insanity for me, and with that, my whole routine has gone out the window. Not to say I haven't been doing anything about my health, but any sense of normal has long disappeared.

So here is my update:
-Weight: Ugh. Not happy with where I am right now. I definitely have been slowly putting back on some of the weight I lost. On one hand, it could have been worse. On the other hand--shame on you Julia. I am now back up to 195.6. Last July I was down to 180. I have some work to do.
-Fitness: Although my fitness routine has gone on hiatus, I have been making some effort. February and March were fine. April I made it to the gym all of once--though I did get random exercise outdoors and through one major office upheaval. Which brings me to...
-Stress: With a big work event in March to get ready for, and then finding out we had to relocate our office the week afterward, followed by the transition of moving and trying to work around boxes and re-moving for the following month, my whole work life has been in a state of chaos. We moved to an office about 1/3 the size of our previous one and have had to eliminate and condense a lot of our supplies, files, etc. If I wasn't getting my cardio, I was sure getting in weight training! And after that that move came the stress with end of fiscal year events, responsibilities, and trying to fit everything in while not finding anything in our office. Additionally, I was stage managing for the spring production at my local theater and that went full throttle in April with rehearsals 4x/week. I go home exhausted and stressed and have resorted to old habits.

However there have been some good things as well:
-Accomplishments: Although I didn't train for it...at all, on May 2nd, I completed the Pittsburgh Half Marathon!! It was awesome & I am very proud of it. I will blog about it soon.
-Steps in the right direction: After two months, I finally made it back to Weight Watchers this week. I am basically starting from scratch, not taking anything for granted in regards to my eating habits and trusting myself to naturally eat the right things--I've started tracking again, getting in my healthy foods, looking at portion sizes, and I made it to the gym last night (as opposed to Tuesday night when I had planned).
-I've am about three months into a new, but long-distance relationship (yes, I realize the time frame...) with a really great guy and he's been making me very happy.
-In 9 days I will be turning 30!! Celebrations galore!!

Challenges:
-Schedule: I still have this massively insane schedule, especially with Josh (the boy) coming into visit next week for my birthday, and another few weeks of work insanity, and we're STILL moving boxes!!
-Funds: I'm pretty broke these days--or at least trying really hard to conserve money for bills I have to pay and expenses that will be happening in the next few months & it stresses me out--additionally I still am trying to make my health a priority so that healthy food shopping is going to have to outweigh some other expenditures. Yikes.
-Spring celebrations--birthdays, graduations, babies, weddings (I have 3 weekends straight of weddings in July). Those are all going to be challenges for me to keep on track.

Goals:
We all know I'm absolutely terrible with setting goals & sticking to the program to achieve them, but I'm still trying.
-One 5k per month. I already have one in June I'm planning on. I want to find ones for the rest of the summer which shouldn't be too difficult. I think the half marathon counts for May. I'd like to work my way up to running again consistently.
-Get back down to 180 by Labor Day weekend. Then work towards my lifetime goal.
-Have no regrets. Sure I screwed up and let myself get off track. But in my mind, I needed that reality check to remember that this isn't something that comes easy and my health isn't something to take for granted. There's no sense in wasting time on the "I should haves..." Instead, I pick myself up & keep going.

Well, that was a long update, I miss connecting with my fellow bloggers and I intend on updating more frequently and returning back to you guys for the inspiration and support that has worked so often in the past.

Until next time!

Welcome February-Let's see if you can top January

Turning the page of a calendar is refreshing--often feels like a fresh start on life. A whole new month full of potential!

Unlike most retrospectives though, January was literally a kick ass month! I set up goals for myself which I accomplished with flying colors (even though I actually forgot all about them). No regrets here!!
40 lbs down As of last week--Check
Tracking food 5x week Check (Fridays can be tricky--weekends still a problem)
Exercise 4x week every week Check!! (My biggest accomplishment!)
Meal planning Check (More like making sure I have healthy food on hand)
Revisit WW lessons Check (Part of WW meetings)
Don't gain. Check!
35 lbs down
Re-join gym

As I mentioned, my biggest accomplishment is my increased activity. Since Jan 7th and joining the gym, I have earned at least 89 APs (11, 21, 24, 33) and been active for 22 out of 31 days. I hear it takes 21 days for a habit to stick. Even though those 22 days weren't consecutive, I definitely feel like being active is becoming a staple in my life (including feeling guilty for Rest Days!)

This has been a milestone month for me too since it's the first time I've ever been able to run 3 miles, and at least 2 of those miles is without stopping!

And as of next weekend, I'll have accomplished one long overdue goal of my "Winning Outcomes" list and my "Feats of Strength" list...the 5k!

Once I finish my 5k, I'm going immediately into training for the 1/2 marathon in May. It's 12 weeks from that point. It's going to be grueling, but it's going to be good. I of course want to continue my weight loss progress, but I hear when you're training for long races, it's common for weight loss to plateau. Since my main goal is to run, I'm going to have to evaluate where I want to be in May with my weight.

The one thing I absolutely have to get under control is my eating patterns. I go a few days eating really good and then the nighttime eating begins. Even after writing my 10 things last week, I paid no attention to that list as I made my way through far too many wheat thins, skinny cows and other snacks. I can't blame it on being hungry from exercise--it was definitely lack of mindful eating.

So, to finish this off, here are my goals for February:
-Run 5k!!
-Start 1/2 marathon training
-Run 5 miles
-Assess goals for May
-Practice mindful eating
-Track 5x week
-Exercise 4x week
-Healthy guidelines!

And as I think I've mentioned, if you want a peak into my running/workout routines, I've started a new blog (Live to Fit to Live) specifically as a fitness log for myself.

Happy February everyone!!
Until next time

Long and hard day-at least gym's outta the way! (Keep reading for a Spontaneous moment of Stupidity)

I'm exhausted. Seriously like may pass out at any given moment exhausted. It's a combination of lack of sleep (though I've been getting at least 6 hours a night) and body weariness.

I did a morning workout for the third day in a row today, though I didn't make it to the gym. I couldn't drag myself out of bed early enough that I would have gotten a good workout if I drove to the gym and came back, and I was not in any state to put together a gym bag to shower there.

I did however...eventually...throw on my workout gear & do a Biggest Loser workout strength routine (about 20 minutes), and then I went for a run. And what a run it was. It was absolutely freezing, but sunny. And I walked for about five minutes before I started my run. I felt under-dressed for the temps though I had on three layers of shirts, plus hat & gloves, but once I started running I completely forgot about the cold, other than seeing my breath streaming out at every exhale.

I ran (okay, jogged) a route that I used to do when I was doing the Couch to 5k training last winter. Brisk walk down Broadway, start running at the elementary school, turn around at the college, run back, slow to a brisk walk at the elementary school. It's about 2 miles, 1.5 running span. Even when I was running on a regular basis, and in warm weather I always needed to slow it down to a walk at least a couple of times before I got to the college to turn around, and by the time I made my way back, I always was struggling to breathe and had a stitch in my side.

Today, in the 20something degree temps, I ran without stopping to the college, and even did an extra loop into the campus so I didn't physically stop to turn around, and about 1/4 way back before needing a break to slow to a brisk walk. I think I slowed down only twice more once for a hill), and was able to finish further than I normally do before I did my cool down walk.

Can it be true then? I actually AM getting stronger? I actually am getting more FIT? I might actually someday call myself an...athlete? A runner? Heaven help us all.

I'm surprised I was able to do it. Not that it was easy--I was definitely struggling at the end. But I've never ever EVER been able to jog that long without stopping--ESPECIALLY outdoors. Treadmills are different. They move you. Not that I am very good on a treadmill either, but these days, I'm able to jog my 20 minute routine at the gym. This is real pavement pounding running.

Spontaneous Moment of Stupidity here
Though it may have something to do with something stupid that I did yesterday. And by stupid I mean exciting and great and brave...but stupid. I signed up for two races. Next month, a 5k called the Freezer Five (Feb 7th), and in May, the mother of all ridiculous ideas...a 1/2 marathon. In Pittsburgh. I signed up, I paid. Signed, sealed, delivered...I'm running. What in heaven's name was I thinking? But I am pumped.

I think the 5k is definitely doable, even if I have less than a month to train, I'm well on my way. Just have to build up my endurance for the cold and the distance. That will be fun.

It's the 1/2 marathon I'm scratching my head about. 13.1 miles. WTF??? My friend who lives in Pittsburgh is doing the marathon with a group of friends. I figured...hey, why not right? It'll give me something to train & look forward to! How am I ever going to be able to run 13.1 miles??? Oh, and I did sign up to run the race, as opposed to most of the other girls who signed up to walk it. Yeah. Well, it's definitely a challenge. It may be the challenge I need to keep me motivated. My WW leader is going to get a kick out of this.

Anyway--I'm excited and scared and every emotion in between.

But at the moment I'm still exhausted. At least I dont' have to go to the gym tonight! Early to bed for this chickie.

Until next time

Go for the Goal

I'm very bad with setting and reaching goals. I don't know why. I start out really motivated and then when I start losing that motivation I don't try harder, I push back the goal or give up on it.

Even just setting a goal is difficult for me. Either I want something realistic so I choose something too low, or I have this lofty idea of how far I'll get there & set it too high. Sometimes the idea of this stresses me out so much that I just don't even set a goal. I set some sort of guideline. Which then I still don't follow.

But here I am, starting fresh in January, aiming to get to my goal weight (which as of last Monday's weigh in was about 30 lbs away now). I would love to be at goal at or before my 2 year anniversary on April 20th. I would love to be a lifetime member by my 30th birthday in May.

But can I seriously do 30 lbs in four months? Fifteen weeks? That's two lbs per week. Good grief. Even if I lost the four lbs I had gained over the holidays this week, and extended it to my birthday that's 25 lbs in 19 weeks. That's a little over a pound a week. With Easter, and a major stress-inducing work fundraiser in between.

Would setting up rewards help? They never have before. Either I never treated myself to the reward such as a massage or something, or I went ahead and got it early such as clothes. It didn't feel like I was really getting something for working hard either. It wasn't like it was presented to me on a platform with music playing in the background recognizing my accomplishment...(ps, can't wait for the Olympics!!)

I really wish I had my own personal trainer (or a real life Drill Sergeant), but I can neither afford that or imagine how that would even work.

This time of month I'm so determined to change my attitude into a "will do" rather than a "should do" or a "I wish I'd done" attitude. I'm motivated and planning and tracking everything, with frequent exercise. And then it slowly wanes away into chaos. I find myself saying, oh I screwed up, but I"ll make up for it next week. But of course I never do.

Anyway--this is the same old blog with the same old whining, but it's about finally doing something about it. Also I think I should start taking photos again of my progress. I did that throughout my first year and it was a great way to visually see my progress.

My goals this week--2lbs, don't go over points M-F, 4x workouts of 2-4pts or more, track. Take photo. Go food shopping & plan meals.

Weigh in is tonight & then tomorrow morning I have a group training session at my gym!

Until next time.

Results, recap & confession.

Let's start with the confession first. I honestly wasn't going to blog about this week's results. I thought about skipping it, using the "oh gosh it's been so busy" excuse...Or I thought maybe I'll just skim over it & post a blog about some other weight loss topic.

But seriously--what good is that going to do me?

So here it is, my results: I gained this week. I have no one to blame but myself of course. I gained 2lbs. Most of that was from the weekend. All week I did well with eating, but I didn't get in too much exercise & when it came to the weekend, I did not hold back much. So my goal of "not gaining in December"...FAIL. But I'm not losing hope. Motivation is a different story...

Recap:
Food goals: Increase water intake. Stay within daily points 3/7 days. Limit night time snacking to one (portion controlled) item. Keep meeting healthy guidelines. Plan meals, bring from home. Track 5 days.
Results: Water was o-kay. Stayed within points 2 days and only .5 over on a 3rd day. The nighttime snacking thing was fine after Monday...that is until the weekend hit. I underestimated points values and definitely overindulged in snacks instead of having real meals. Bringing meals from home was o-kay until the end of the week as I began to run out of food. I did have a great shrimp & orzo dinner one night. Saturday night I ate beforehand and was able to resist getting food at the restaurant I went to. I stuck to basic drinks (vodka tonic).
Exercise goals: Kicked ass last week--keep it up. At least 30 minutes moderate activity each day, 14 APs. Ice skating this weekend.
Results: Did not kick ass this week. Only had three days of activity and those were not as focused as they should have been. Did not get up early to work out at any point. Allowed evening plans to get in way of workouts at night. No ice skating.

Moral...I do not follow directions very well.
Lesson...I need to find some way of keeping myself on track when the going gets tough or when I get lazy. What's it gonna take? What's gonna be my wake up call?

I don't really know the answers, but if I"m gonna make it to goal, I need to figure these things out. This week's goals to come.

Until next time

Dec Week One Results & Week 2 Goals

Well, my hard work paid off. I happily got on the scale and heard 2.4 lbs from the WW receptionist.

So now I'm back to 188.2

I have three more weigh-ins in December. To get back down to 180, I'd have to lose almost 3lbs each week. So since that is not going to happen, my goal for the end of December is to just not gain. Doesn't matter if it's .2 or 2.2 loss. I just don't want to see that graph bar go up this month.

I had three weeks of gains before this loss. Basically since the summer it has been two or three weeks of gains, followed by one or two weeks of loss, followed by two or three weeks of gains...definitely opposite of what it should be.

I talked about this to my leader last night...My first year and a half of WW wasn't necessarily easy, but I would have three good weeks and one bad week a month. Now it seems it's three bad weeks and one good week. Her suggestion was to find that thing; that motivation. What got you in the door isn't necessarily the same motivation as now. I don't know if I have a specific motivation like many others, but I do have goals. Number goals (like I want my freakin 50 lbs back!! and to be in the 170s), and non-number goals (size 12 pants? to run a 5k, to wear a bikini...).

So I guess part of the challenge is figuring out what I really want, why I really want it, and kicking myself in the ass enough so I keep going towards it. Something that I can keep reminding myself of when I reach for the extra portion or even think about loading a bag of chip-like substances into my shopping basket.

Anyway--my goals for this week...

Food goals: Increase water intake. Stay within daily points 3/7 days. Limit night time snacking to one (portion controlled) item. Keep meeting healthy guidelines. Plan meals, bring from home. Track 5 days.
Challenges: The weekend. Going out to dinner on Friday, possibly going out on Saturday. Just need to be aware of what I'm eating. Also my fridge is on the empty side for bringing lunches & making dinners & I really can't spend too much to replenish it until I get my next paycheck...must improvise (such as steal food from parents house).

Exercise goals: Kicked ass last week--keep it up. At least 30 minutes moderate activity each day, 14 APs. Ice skating this weekend.
Challenges: There shouldn't be any. I have time each day to do something--just need to make sure I do it.

Okay--that's all for now. Gotta finish up work & then go home & work out!!

Until next time

Week Recap

I did have a very productive week, but definitely had some challenges in terms of eating.

Food goals: Stay within daily points as much as possible. Eat from home as much whenever possible. Get in 8 Healthy Guidelines as much as possible (especially liquids!!). Track 5 out of 7 days.
Results: For the most part I did this. I tracked M-F and though I didn't track during the weekend, I made very health conscious choices for my main meals. I brought in my lunch every day except Thursday & Friday. Thursday I had pizza as I had planned (though I was starving when I got back & had some soup and an apple) and Friday I got some great veggie chili from the cafeteria. And I made some great dinners at home. The problem was at night (as usual)--most of the time I was okay, but I went over my points a bit each day. And then Wednesday I made an idiotic choice to buy soy chips--two bags. I used some of the BBQ flavor bags for a Hungry Girl recipe for hot wings (really good! low points). Instead of putting the chips away for the next time I make the recipe, I ate them. And then the other bag. For no good reason other than they were there. Lesson learned--don't buy two bags of anything even if it's a supermarket special. Not worth it.
Exercise goals: 14 APs (avg 2pts/30 min moderate activity per day). 6 days Cardio, 2 days strength.
Results: 19APs. Rock on. Really made an effort & I plan to continue doing that. It really is a matter of just do it--once I'm working out, I get into a zone & I love it.
Saturday's workout day was full of obstacles, but kind of funny. I was at my parents house (after dropping them at the airport) & brought my workout DVDs knowing I had a lot of time to kill (laundry day). I would have gone for a run, but it was freezing & eventually snowed. I put in the DVDs but then couldn't find the remote, and then couldn't move between menu options to choose my workout. The only one that I got to work was the Dirty Dancing warmup. Which at least got my heart rate going, but wasn't enough. Then I tried old school VCR tapes & found some old Jane Fonda workouts. OMG--they were hilarious. But the tracking on the tape was and all I got was shadows within a fuzzy screen and it was hard to follow so I gave up on that idea. My next attempt at working out was the Cable On Demand Fitness programs I kept hearing about. After scrolling through, I found the section, but the selection was pretty dismal. There was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader workout routine. Which. was. Ridiculous. Of course they were wearing the uniforms, and they had pom poms. The instructor sounded like a 15 year old and was pretty difficult to take seriously. And it was broken up into about 10 minute segments which was annoying. But when I skipped ahead to the full routine, it really just reminded me of a strip club routine. Oh, and they had a move called...no joke...the Sexy Walk. Really? OMG... I couldn't bear it. Then I tried their "kickboxing" routine thinking it'd be at least more of a cardio workout. Well, it was anything but--more like stretching or even pilates, which was actually not bad, but not what I wanted. (The instructor was pretty yummy though...) Finally I found a workout that was agility and strength training and was still pretty dumb, but at least got my heartrate up and I felt like I was getting a workout. And then I did a 10 minute butt blaster which killed but was great. So I didn't get the workout I really expected, but it was at least something. The highlight of my workout week was Tuesday--a morning run & then 40 minute workout, and a lunchtime walk for 6APs.

Weekly Recap (Daily Points=24)
M: 27 pts (+3), 2 APs
T: 33 pts (+9), 6 APs
W: 44 pts (+20!!! WTF), 3 APs
Th: 27 pts (+3), 3 APs
F: At least 27 pts (stopped tracking), 2APs
S: No tracking, 3 APs
S: No tracking, no extra APs

So I have to keep up the good work on my exercise, but really have to focus on limiting my eating habits.

Tomorrow tune in for my new weekly goals & my weigh in update!

Until next time

Swinging into December!

Okay so last night's weigh in was another disappointment, but I have no one to blame but myself. I gained another 0.6 lbs. Expected, but still not a good feeling as it was the 3rd week in a row that I gained. But--it's a new week and a new month, and I'm already making strides to change that.

My bad mood didn't last long because I went to Swing Dancing immediately afterward and you really can't be in a bad mood while swing dancing. Then I went home & made a decent dinner & despite going over by 3 pts, I felt energized. I sat & crocheted while watching TV and wasn't tempted to binge, though I did have some baked tostitos and salsa (only 2pts).

Plan for week:
Food goals: Stay within daily points as much as possible. Eat from home as much whenever possible. Get in 8 Healthy Guidelines as much as possible (especially liquids!!). Track 5 out of 7 days.
Challenges: Wednesday night out--will need to grab food
Thursday pizza @ work event
Saturday night-post concert food & drinks
Being at home Tuesday night/Friday night/Sunday evening
Exercise goals: 14 APs (avg 2pts/30 min moderate activity per day). 6 days Cardio, 2 days strength.
Challenges: Should have time for at least 30 min all days. Thursday will be a challenge because of a work event, but I still want to try to fit in at least 20 min walk or 10 min stairs late afternoon. Saturday I have a bunch of stuff going on, but will fit in a long run/walk & some strength training. Sunday will be a rest day, but if the weather is reasonably nice, I want to get outside for something. Other days--no excuses.

I kicked off the week of activity with swing dancing last night (2pts), a walk/run this morning (2pts), a Biggest Loser workout (3pts), and a lunchtime walk (1pt)...8 APs already? And it's only Tuesday?? But I'm energized and I'm keeping this up as long as possible.

Until Next Time

Choose wisely & reap the rewards

Last night I was watching the Biggest Loser and at the end when I was watching the transformation "after" of the contestant who got kicked off, something struck a chord with me. In a motivational speech she was giving, she said "You can choose differently." In our darkest hours, you have control over your life and it's the choices that you make that affect the outcome. You can choose differently.

Now this is neither my darkest hour nor is it anything remotely close to the circumstances she was referring to, but it is applicable.

Our choices shape our lives. They shape the outcome. They shape our energy and our relationships and our day to day events.

Lately my choices have been dismal. My eating choices, my lack of inactivity choices. They are thoughtless choices, but choices nonetheless. Returning to old habits out of laziness and not thinking how the food I'm eating or buying will affect me are all choices I've been making lately and then regretting. I've had ample opportunity to start making good choices but have continued this route of bad decisions, while making every excuse in the book as to why I'm making these choices. And the lack of inactivity has been a big drawback as well. Usually if I'm active, I tend to think twice about what I'm eating, knowing that I'm putting hard work into my exercise and I don't want to waste the effort. And I keep whining about it--without doing anything about it.

I have disappointed myself. I have hidden in denial from the truth. I have only blogged sparingly knowing how pitiful these choices and excuses seem. Yet I have not chosen to do anything differently.

Today I am revisiting my goals and motivation asking myself what's in it for me.

What do I want?

• To get back on track
• To get to my goal weight
• To feel healthy again
• To feel motivated again
• To feel fit again
• To hit those Feats of Strength with a smile of accomplishment
  
• To incorporate healthy living into all aspects of my life
• To stop making excuses!

Why do I want this?

• Because I'm turning 30 in 7 months and I want to start the next decade of my life healthy.
• Because I want to wear those skinny jeans and look GOOD in them
• Because I want to wear a bikini on the beach
• Because I want to achieve those fitness goals and keep striving for more
  
• Because I want to not have to think about weight for ONCE in my life!

When do I want this?

• By the end of the year I want to hit my goal of 165
• Six weeks of maintenance = Valentine's Day (mid Feb)
• By April 21 (2 year WW anniversary) I want to have maintained my weight and be comfortable in my body, my habits, and my life.

How will I do this?

• Making the right decisions starting today
• Tracking & being aware of food point values
• Committing to exercise
• Leaving behind old habits & developing new healthy habits
• Stop making excuses

I need to hold myself accountable. I need to stop being lazy. I need to change my life. It's not going to be easy, but I need to do this for me. I will do this for me.

I'm starting this by weighing in tonight. Yes, I skipped Monday's weigh in. Shamefully so. There was no reason for me to stay home, but I did because for the first time I was afraid of what the scale was going to say. I don't know why, I've had plenty of gains in the past. I've gone into the meeting knowing I was going to gain and still weighed in. But this week I was a coward.

I'm going tonight.

It's not about baby steps. It's about one steady step at the time. I'm not putting my foot down unless I know where it's going to land and that where I put it is the right place.

This is it. This is my choice.

And I choose to take action.

So bear with me as I regain my footing in this journey, accept my faults, and move past these missteps towards a better version of me.

Now the work begins.
Until next time.

Fabulous Fall Friday!

Plans for weekend:
Tonight: Play rehearsal. Chinese for dinner (steamed). Goal: Avoid munching on sweets & snacks @ rehearsal.

Tomorrow: Long walk (get in extra APs), then major cleaning at home (yuck). Date in evening (we'll see). Goals: Avoid crazy lazy eating at home. Avoid alcohol & crazy food at night. I'm in training for...

Sunday: 5k (WHAT?), NYC w/Friend for Broadway Flea Market (keeping fingers crossed for Eye Candy in the form of Hugh Jackman), Rehearsal. Pizza for dinner (craving the really good pizzeria near theater) Goal: Not die of exhaustion

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

Ze Plan! Ze Plan!

I imagine little Tattoo from Fantasy Island yelling this with me...

Okay--so I spent some time thinking about what my plan is going to be for getting back on track and losing the weight I have been putting on so efficiently due to my lack of good habits. It's hard to start slow, when I've gone through all of this before...multiple times. But I also want to establish these good habits as part of my life continuing forward, and the only way to have them become habits, is to start slow, re-introducing them little by little.

So here it is...Ze Plan (subject to change based on progress)

Week One (starting today):

• Track everything (broken record?)
  
• Fit in 8 Healthy Guidelines daily (water, milk, fruits/veggies, oils, vitamins, exercise, protein, whole grains)
• Earn 14 APs (averaging 2 per day)
• Re-read WW materials from early in program.
  
• Run 5k (Okay, I'm so not ready for it, but I still want to accomplish it! It's now or never)
  

Simple right?

Week Two (Mon 9/28):

• Establish schedule for meals & exercise with reasonable expectations (mornings just ain't gonna happen)
  
• Evaluate food choices from previous week & current week. What is making me eat these foods? Is it worth it?
• Make choices based on evaluation--Pros vs. Cons=Choice
  
• Earn 14-20 APs
  

Week Three (Mon 10/5):

• Up exercise intensity focusing on endurance & strength--try new class, program, dvd, etc.
  
• Change up food choices--introduce new foods, recipes
  
• Evaluate nighttime eating habits, brainstorm room for change.

Week Four (Mon 10/12):

• Avoid nighttime binging at all costs.
• Evaluate exercise. What works? What to focus on?
  
• Make Halloween costume. (That'll keep me busy!)
  

By week four I should start seeing changes--both in behavior and on the scale. By that point I will want to set goals for future weeks. The following week will be the aptly named "Hell Week" for my show and will likely make me abandon whatever normal schedule I'd have developed by this point. However I should be ready to take it on and move on afterward.

It's fall. The scale will be falling. The sizes will be falling. And I will be plowing ahead (thought I was gonna say falling right?).

Until next time.

Tuesday ramblings & goals

For the record I began writing yesterday's post in a humorous light and it turned out a little more self-evaluating and criticizing than I had meant it, but it's still one aspect of the weight loss process which I felt worth mentioning. Thanks for the comments though. I certainly do feel that I am the same person inside, if anything I feel I am stronger and more confident...I just truly enjoy the sight of the new me :)

Well last night's weigh in wasn't all that surprising. With a 1.4 lb gain, I am back to 49 lbs. I did okay this week, but I knew that 3.8 lb loss was too good to be true. However, I can totally do 1lb this week if I put my mind to it. And with the gorgeous (if somewhat cool) weather, there's no reason not to take my evening runs seriously.

I added a couple of goals to my list on the right. One is a biggie-Combat useless eating. That includes the following: nighttime snacking, boredom eating, un-portioned snacking, eating without being hungry, finishing food without wanting it...and the list goes on.

Obviously this is a pretty big feat because it's one of my worst habits, and it's something that requires some major commitment, focus, discipline and self-awareness. And if it were so easy, I wouldn't have written about it oh so many times. But as I get closer to my goal weight, I am starting to look more not just at what I eat, but how and why I eat. I am perfectly capable now to eat half a portion at a restaurant without wanting the rest, drinking enough water, avoiding creamy or fried foods, getting in my healthy guidelines of fruits, veggies, whole grains, etc. But it's those old eating habits that keep getting in the way.

The other goals I added are really just for fun--and they're activities that either I've never been able to do or haven't been able to do in ages. I want to do a handstand, and a cartwheel. And I want to do them well. Bringing out my inner child is very important to me, and I think a sense of accomplishment for having done something that I wouldn't even have dared to do 50 lbs heavier. A slight sense of fear of actually doing these activities makes it all the more worthwhile and exhilarating. I also want to teach myself how to hula hoop and I want to be able to do one of those 'hop over the fence/side of a convertible' things (like they do in the movies). But I'll get around to those. Oh--and swing dancing. Maybe I should add a separate section for "Feats of Strength" goals...

September is a fresh start to a new season, and I have a good feeling that it will be a good time for my own fresh start.

Until next time

Get mad

I don't get mad often. I've got a pretty even temper and laid back personality.

But sometimes that results in me swallowing emotions instead of releasing them and then they build up.

And they brew.

And they fester (great word isn't it?)

And then...

BOOM. Full fledged emotional demons come flooding out. Beware.

So this weekend was one of those weekends. I've been letting some stuff build up for weeks now, but I thought it had settled. I had a great week with lots of positive energy & great experiences (other than Monday's frustrating weigh in) and I was really looking forward to this weekend. On Friday however there was that change of tides.

First I encountered a series of rude people one right after the other who pissed me off first thing in the morning. After that it seemed everything started going wrong, but I tried not to let it get to me. I went out that night and had a great time and seemed to have recovered. Saturday I was very efficient in preparing for the wedding I had later that day, and even fit in a half hour run. It was tough, but I was happy I did it. The wedding though was a bit tough--between my friend who is post-breakup getting upset every time she heard "their" song, and being surrounded by couples while dealing with my own issues, and some other useless senseless drama which came up...my head was continuing to clog up with chaos.

To top everything off, yesterday's trip to the Ren Faire proved to put the icing on the cake and by the time I came home I was bubbling over with hurt, anger, and every emotion in between and it all came pouring out. In the privacy of my bedroom I just let everything release uninhibitedly and eventually settled down.

And then I ran. I couldn't eat anything and needed to do something, and I knew that pounding the pavement would be the only thing that was going to help. And it did. It wasn't just all jogging either--I actually ran. And I ran further than I ever have before. And it felt good. Sure I was tired. Sure I could barely breathe. Sure I had a cramp in my side which felt like it was ripping apart my organs. But I pushed and by the time I returned, I proudly collapsed on my couch in contented exhaustion.

I know this week is going to be a difficult week, but I'm planning on using that to my advantage. Channeling those emotions into my running--I feel strong physically and I think this will help me cope emotionally--plus it will help me reach my 50 lb mark on the scale which will also help my overly-emotional state.

Get mad. Since I can never have all parts of my life cooperating at the same time, I'm going to at least use adrenaline and endorphins to my advantage.

Tonight should be a good night on the scale because I was pretty good this week & did fit in lots of walks and a few runs. I don't know what the loss will be, but it should definitely be a loss. Hopefully after today my mood will start to calm down to it's normal tepid state.

Goals for the week:

• Run
• Lots of protein, healthy foods, fewer carbs (other than fruit)
  
• Track
• Water
• Distract myself
  
• Keep my 50lb goal in mind.

Until next time

Goal oriented

This week was tough getting back on the wagon. I felt more like I was running to catch up with it as it was driving down the road. I think I need to set some goals for myself.

Aside from making healthy food choices (which was on again off again this past week), I need to make some specific changes...

• TV will rot the brain. Turn it off: It's summer and I should not be spending my nights inside in my living room. There's nothing good on TV so there's no excuse. Anything I want to watch can be DVRed, so why not turn it off for the week. Go out-take a walk or a bike ride, meet up with friends, or even just read something. Plus not sitting in front of the TV will eliminate the snacking urges. TV Limit 1 hr per night. Unless a fitness DVD is involved.
• Sober up you Lush: Ever since my road trip I've been drinking more than I normally would. I've been a little blue lately and I found solace in coming home and enjoying a cold beer or two, plus drinking out with friends, family, you name it. I at least want to limit it to a couple drinks during the weekend. I'm not a big drinker, but I was certainly using it to get my mind off things and relax. Not a happy waistline. Which leads me to my next goal...
• Water yourself, then your plants: Drink. Water. Lots of it. Especially now that it's the steamy summer weather. My body needs it and it'll help meet some of the other goals like getting down under 180.
• You like to move it move it? Prove it: At least 30 minutes a day. Of whatever. Walking, jogging, dancing, ...doesn't matter. There's no reason not to and I'm doing myself a disservice to all my hard work if I don't keep it up.

I don't know what the scale is going to say tomorrow, but I won't be surprised if I see the number go up again. I put on a pair of pants today which I know were running a bit big a couple of weeks ago and they were a little snugger this time around. I also am noticing I'm not as toned as I was in the beginning of the month and that I'm getting much softer around the mid-section. I could blame it on being sick earlier in the month but the latter part of the month has been sheer laziness and lack of motivation. Time to change that.

Let's kick this week off right.

Until next time

June Bootcamp

Happy June everyone. May flew by. Always my favorite month, but this month was crazy--maybe more than usual. But I loved every minute of it and now I'm ready for June!

Taking a cue from a fellow blogger at Bare it All, I am making a plan for June. Not that I always follow the plans I make because things come up, but this month I am determined. It's June 1st, and after two weeks of bad eating and minimal exercising, I am determined to get myself back in the game. I feel the effects my poor choices are having on my body, and I am certainly seeing those choices in how my clothes are fitting. It's time to take action. (So I don't end up really looking like that cat in the previous blog)

I have said in the past that planning is not my forte. Well, I can plan all I want, but actually following the plan is the hard part. But like I said, it's time to take action and I am serious about this. So this is bootcamp time.
Rules
1. NO EXCUSES!
2. Get in some form of exercise every day. Even 10 minutes is better than nothing. Aim for mornings. Push yourself. Challenge yourself. You can do it! 30 day shred, Biggest Loser DVD, weight training, jogging, and walking are your friends. Have backup plans.
3. Track all food. Easier said than done, but the more you track, the more you are aware of what you're eating, and the more you can make those good choices.
4. Eat the right foods! This is boot camp. No excuses. Plan meals as much as possible. Try to get in ALL the healthy guidelines every day. Limit sweets. Limit baked chips. Say NO to fried foods, chips, or any of those other "did I just eat the whole bag" foods.
5. Blog progress to keep accountable. It's always helpful seeing progress and a chance to vent frustrations and celebrate successes. It's been working so far anyway!

So here we go with Day One!

Until next time